If i may add to DavidT's words:
To a very special Jewish person, and our good friend,
While i may not know your personal story, i am still capable of feeling for you and feeling for your situation. It is true i may not know what you're going through and the trials and tribulations you have endured, but friends and community are people who care about us, even though they are different than us. Even if people have different experiences than what you've experienced, that should not and cannot take away from thefact that they (we) truly care deeply about you and wish whats best for you.
While we may not know exactly what you're going through, there is one being who does-and that is our father in Heaven. He is all knowing and all merciful. In fact, the Talmud tells us that these character traits are insufficient descriptions of Hashem since they are finite, and instead we have to think of Hashem as being infinite in all of these good qualities. What this means is that no matter what happens, Hashem is always there for us, to help us, to accept us with open arms. Like DavidT mentioned, no one in this world is removed from Teshuva and if you want anything is possible.
I'm not going to argue that change is easy, cause its not, it is hard, but anyone will tell you that change is so good for you. Making this change in your life will overflow to good things happening in the rest of your life. Change is possible for anyone if they are connected to their friends who share the same ideals. I can tell you that along with DavidT-we are all your friends and are rooting f you!!
Even if you want to tell me that you do not want to change, i'm assuming you at least understand the need for change and you want to want to change. That itself is good enough to start making changes in your life, and with the right help you can really change.
If you ever want to chat/talk about anything please dont hesitate to reach out to
me-360gye@gmail.com
Your friend,
360gye