Hi,

I'm fairly new to GYE. I'm 21 and have been struggling for quite a few years.

It's always been bothering me and I've tried countless times to stop watching porn etc. 

I've even spoken and confided with my rebbi about it, nothing seems to help. I have a filter and of course I get around it. I've tried leaving my phone out of my room at night .....

Its all hit me recently beacuse my parents started talking about shidduchim, which to me seems very scary, to enter into a new stage in life with a new person that you are supposed to support and be supported by, but at the same time have this nasty addiction?!???

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Yid613400 wrote on 22 Jan 2020 03:17:

First of all congratulations for reaching out. This is a major step that will lead be"h to full recovery. 

You can read about dating disclosure here guardyoureyes.com/questions-and-answers/item/disclosure-while-dating?category_id=36

Please stay connected here and you'll see that many people just like you have healed and are doing very well now. 
let me know if you havehave any specific questions and I'll try to connect you to the right people and everything will fall into place with Hashem's help.

One thing which I was wondering after processing so much info from GYE, what should be the first step I should take towards getting clean?

I'm currently part time in yeshiva part time working in Yerushalayim. 

Thanks for reaching out so quickly.

Yid613400 wrote on 22 Jan 2020 03:32:

I would recommend to start by reading this:
guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation
and listening to theshmuz.com/series/the-fight/

Let's have a discussion tomorrow iy"h

this is the first day of the rest of your life... so thank hashem and daven for a continuous smooth ride

Welcome. You made a wise choice to join GYE. You will iyh get out of this mess if you stay connected. Where do you access pornography? Do you have any filters installed?

I do have a filter but I always got around it. Recently I got someone else to control the password settings and blocked myself out. So now I'm 3 days going on more. 

Its good to know that im not the only one. Im about to turn 23, shidduchim are coming up and im freaking out. I started in 9th grade and have been trying to quit ever since. I dont have any rabbeim that I feel close enough to speak to (count yourself lucky that you do), i didnt know about gye until 2 days ago hopefully it will be the deal breaker this time. Hatzlacha, may we all suceed!

Davenforme wrote on 23 Jan 2020 16:48:

Dear Davenforme
You should thank Hashem for sending you to GYE.
Yes, this WILL be the deal breaker! Guaranteed... 
BUT, at the end of the day it will depend on you. You'll need to reach out to the right people here and stay connected. Many other like you have seen real siyata dishmaya here and so will you BE"H.
There is no reason to be freaking out... Start with "A Day At A Time" and with Hashem's help you'll there...

How we doin???

Hey I’m 23 started gye about 7 months ago really worked on myself and Bh I’m clean for 7 months it’s very possible if you’re motivated for the right reasons. Won’t be easy was really hard but gets easier with time. I’m telling you from experience trust me. I started dating recently and Bh got engaged and I look back and wow am I happy I was able to overcome this and become a much better person.  So my advice is just keep pushing and you can do it!! Trust me when I say hashem helps I’ve been there

Thanks so so much. And mazel Tov!
Im turning 22 soon and will prob start shiduchim in a year, that’s why I’ve been working so hard on these inyanim.

I hope to B’ezras Hashem be matzliach like you!

Chaimsimcha13 wrote on 20 Dec 2020 00:41:

May I ask if u told your Kalla anything about this?

Mazel tov!

Much hatzlocha!
Thank you for coming back to update.
Can you please share what helped you?
I'm turning 22 and trying hard to be a better, cleaner, happier me.
Thank you

Chaimsimcha13 wrote on 20 Dec 2020 00:41:

Yes, if you can elaborate how you navigated this aspect of dating? Or anything that will be helpful for the people
Thank you