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Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia??
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TOPIC: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 1133 Views

Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 17 Dec 2019 00:46 #346010

  • doingtshuva
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Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. You could say social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people. It is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in most all areas of a person's life.

​I believe, that for me, my suffering and hiding was what made me depressed. It also dragged me to porn, for a sort of relief.
Due to my illness, I don't trust people, and I will have it very hard  to get helped. Meanwhile my years are going by with hidden tears.

Would love to hear from people who were struggling with social phobia and managed to cure themselves. 

When I am sad, or when I feel I can't do, or go to places I want to go, then is when I usually fall.

I hope this thread will give some hope for anyone struggling in this area.

Sometimes I ask myself, if my phobias are due to my watching porn, or is my watching porn due to my phobias???
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum
Last Edit: 17 Dec 2019 00:48 by doingtshuva.

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 18 Dec 2019 00:11 #346027

  • doingtshuva
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I believe that my fears are destroying my life.
Till recently I was just focusing on staying sober.
Was fighting and falling, fighting and falling and so on. 
Now days I try working on my well-being. If I feel good and try to accept life with all it's challenges then I don't need porn to soothe me.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 18 Dec 2019 00:23 #346028

  • doingtshuva
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My fears and being ashamed was what held me back from seeking help as a young child who was going through abuse.
Will never forget being beaten and warned if I ever dear talking.
Do I want to cry? No, I rather want to forget all these years.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 18 Dec 2019 05:46 #346036

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Crying can sometimes do wonders...… But maybe find someone real who can cry along with you.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 18 Dec 2019 23:01 #346065

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 18 Dec 2019 05:46:
Crying can sometimes do wonders...… But maybe find someone real who can cry along with you.

Your so right.
I am not alone, but my problem is that although I am on Gye for nearly 6 years, I wasn't able to open up to no one.

Doing this stretch all by myself is draining.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 20 Dec 2019 02:02 #346089

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doingtshuva wrote on 18 Dec 2019 23:01:

Hashem Help Me wrote on 18 Dec 2019 05:46:
Crying can sometimes do wonders...… But maybe find someone real who can cry along with you.

Your so right.
I am not alone, but my problem is that although I am on Gye for nearly 6 years, I wasn't able to open up to no one.

Doing this stretch all by myself is draining.

Opening up to others is what b'ezras Hashem saved me. So far I have not found anyone here who makes a caller feel bad. And some of the guys have great shoulders to cry on. Pick up the phone chaver, and let it all out.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 20 Dec 2019 02:35 #346090

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doingtshuva wrote on 17 Dec 2019 00:46:
Social anxiety is the fear of social situations that involve interaction with other people. You could say social anxiety is the fear and anxiety of being negatively judged and evaluated by other people. It is a pervasive disorder and causes anxiety and fear in most all areas of a person's life.

​I believe, that for me, my suffering and hiding was what made me depressed. It also dragged me to porn, for a sort of relief.
Due to my illness, I don't trust people, and I will have it very hard  to get helped. Meanwhile my years are going by with hidden tears.

Would love to hear from people who were struggling with social phobia and managed to cure themselves. 

When I am sad, or when I feel I can't do, or go to places I want to go, then is when I usually fall.

I hope this thread will give some hope for anyone struggling in this area.

Sometimes I ask myself, if my phobias are due to my watching porn, or is my watching porn due to my phobias???

...i know exactly how you feel having been there myself. Opening up to my fellow brothers on this site who can be trusted and will not judge you because of our own major struggles. Its really important that you speak openly and honestly with someone. I would be happy to speak with you about your struggles and share mine as well. Please private message me for my anonymous google voice telephone number. Be strong my brother there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 24 Dec 2019 00:15 #346190

  • doingtshuva
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Thanks for all the support.
small update
Thursday night I lost my brakes but found them back through shabbos.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 24 Dec 2019 19:47 #346203

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doingtshuva

I think counselling woudl be beneficial for you.
To talk through your childhood.

As for social anxiety, some thoughts.

Events are usually easier than you think. We tend to worry in advance, but once at the event it is OK.

If there is an event which is especially worrying, then just do not go.

Once at an event, consciously steer conversation to subjects you are comfortable with. 

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 24 Dec 2019 22:44 #346207

  • doingtshuva
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ColinColin wrote on 24 Dec 2019 19:47:
doingtshuva

I think counselling woudl be beneficial for you.
To talk through your childhood.

I agree with you. I still need the courage to break my shame + the money. Help isn't cheap.

As for social anxiety, some thoughts.

Events are usually easier than you think. We tend to worry in advance, but once at the event it is OK.

Sorry but I don't agree.

If there is an event which is especially worrying, then just do not go.

Sometimes you just can't not go, and it's very hard

Once at an event, consciously steer conversation to subjects you are comfortable with.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum
Last Edit: 24 Dec 2019 22:59 by doingtshuva.

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 26 Dec 2019 02:03 #346230

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doingtshuva

You disagree with me that you can steer the subject of conversation to what you want.

Trust me, it is possible.

Many Jews at simchas and events have a habit of asking you exactly the same questions:

Where do you live?
Where do you daven?
What job do you do?
How many children do you have?
What school do they go to?

Personally I find these questions too intrusive.
So you can prepare answers in advance.

Say them clearly, concisely and without emotion.

Then do two things.

The first is to ask them questions, and keep asking....

The second is to say that you have a particular interest in a certain subject, then discuss it.
It can be a certain area of learning, or a period of History, or types of screwdrivers for woodworking.

And just talk about it.
That way you take control.

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 26 Dec 2019 02:30 #346232

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ColinColin wrote on 26 Dec 2019 02:03:
doingtshuva

You disagree with me that you can steer the subject of conversation to what you want.

Trust me, it is possible.

Many Jews at simchas and events have a habit of asking you exactly the same questions:

Where do you live?
Where do you daven?
What job do you do?
How many children do you have?
What school do they go to?

Personally I find these questions too intrusive.
So you can prepare answers in advance.

Say them clearly, concisely and without emotion.

Then do two things.

The first is to ask them questions, and keep asking....

The second is to say that you have a particular interest in a certain subject, then discuss it.
It can be a certain area of learning, or a period of History, or types of screwdrivers for woodworking.

And just talk about it.
That way you take control.

Reminds of the chat thingy:
  1. P & M, or worse?
  2. Streak?
  3. Age?
  4. M/F/U? (or is that from the other sites I frequent?)
  5. 12 steps/Smart/Mussar/Shmuez?
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 30 Dec 2019 02:30 #346373

  • doingtshuva
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ColinColin wrote on 26 Dec 2019 02:03:
doingtshuva

You disagree with me that you can steer the subject of conversation to what you want.

Trust me, it is possible.

Many Jews at simchas and events have a habit of asking you exactly the same questions:

Where do you live?
Where do you daven?
What job do you do?
How many children do you have?
What school do they go to?

Personally I find these questions too intrusive.
So you can prepare answers in advance.

Say them clearly, concisely and without emotion.

Then do two things.

The first is to ask them questions, and keep asking....

The second is to say that you have a particular interest in a certain subject, then discuss it.
It can be a certain area of learning, or a period of History, or types of screwdrivers for woodworking.

And just talk about it.
That way you take control.

Colin, thanks for your advice, my problem is not what I am going to talk, but acutely being in a crowd of people. I can't explain you what I feel and I also don't think that you can help me.

I started this thread cause I have been trying for years to break my bad habits with very low success. Till I came to a realization that my fears are what are causing me to fall. I get frustrated and that what leads me to give up.
I don't believe that I will be able to brake free without seeking professional help.
 NO, It's not all or nothing, just every bit counts!

I failed yesterday, and I might fail tomorrow. But just for today I'm going to give it a try.


Gye program + Handbook  -  Phone conferences  -  Taphsik method  -  90 day chart  -  Ebooks  -  Shiurim  -  Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski  -  Recent topics on the Forum

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 30 Dec 2019 14:08 #346387

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doingtshuva wrote on 30 Dec 2019 02:30:

ColinColin wrote on 26 Dec 2019 02:03:
doingtshuva

You disagree with me that you can steer the subject of conversation to what you want.

Trust me, it is possible.

Many Jews at simchas and events have a habit of asking you exactly the same questions:

Where do you live?
Where do you daven?
What job do you do?
How many children do you have?
What school do they go to?

Personally I find these questions too intrusive.
So you can prepare answers in advance.

Say them clearly, concisely and without emotion.

Then do two things.

The first is to ask them questions, and keep asking....

The second is to say that you have a particular interest in a certain subject, then discuss it.
It can be a certain area of learning, or a period of History, or types of screwdrivers for woodworking.

And just talk about it.
That way you take control.

Colin, thanks for your advice, my problem is not what I am going to talk, but acutely being in a crowd of people. I can't explain you what I feel and I also don't think that you can help me.

I started this thread cause I have been trying for years to break my bad habits with very low success. Till I came to a realization that my fears are what are causing me to fall. I get frustrated and that what leads me to give up.
I don't believe that I will be able to brake free without seeking professional help.

Hashem has created two types of people. There are social bumble bees who can't understand why someone doesn't like a crowd, and there are introverts who can't stand social events.
I'm an introvert, I get anxiety as well before parties. B"H I get over it very quickly. I know this is who I am and no reason to feel bad about it.

If this freezes you up and makes you stuck from going through daily life, please seek professional help.
My email address is: growinghigher613@gmail.com

Re: Do you suffer from social anxiety/phobia?? 02 Jan 2020 01:03 #346449

  • farblunjet
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@ColinColin 

Where do you live? How do you find events to go to? I'm so needing to find some events to go to! I'm in NYC.
Longest clean streak: 11 days
Last Edit: 02 Jan 2020 01:04 by farblunjet.
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