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Saving My Soul

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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

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TOPIC: Saving My Soul 842 Views

Saving My Soul 16 Dec 2019 14:51 #345993

Mark18
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I want to thank all of my fellow brothers for posting so openly and honestly in these forums and in the chatroom. We dont know who each other are but we are brothers nonetheless. Im now 45+ days clean and its been a tremendous struggle. If it wasnt for these honest and heartfelt chizuk postings i would have already fallen many times big time and hard. These postings together with my partners on the west coast and in england have kept me clean sane and strong. I have never been at a point like this in my entire life and you are all actually saving my soul. Im sorry if this sounds overly dramatic but its true and i mean it from the depths of my heart.

Re: Saving My Soul 16 Dec 2019 15:28 #345995

davidt OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1793	I can say the same thing and I am 100% confident that many many more people can say the same thing... As of day I stand at 30 days clean from porn ... and 20 years clean of masturbation... Thank You GYE from all of us and may you keep it up and save many more souls !!
	"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?" feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com

Re: Saving My Soul 16 Dec 2019 16:20 #345996

Mark18
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DavidT wrote on 16 Dec 2019 15:28:

I can say the same thing and I am 100% confident that many many more people can say the same thing...
As of day I stand at 30 days clean from porn ... and 20 years clean of masturbation...

Thank You GYE from all of us and may you keep it up and save many more souls !!

Im sorry if this is too personal but i find it really important to know this and the fact that we are both anonymous allows me to ask. i really struggle with masturbation and pornography although im 45+ days clean from both. I honestly know if i would watch pornography i would have an overwhelming desire to masturbate and i dont know how i wouldnt fall big time and hard. How have you been able to be clean for 20 years (?!) and still have watched porn until 30 days ago and not masturbated. My brother you seriously must be an incredibly strong person with tremendous self control and you are way better than me. If you are married is part of the secret that you are with you wife frequently and intensly (sp)?.

Re: Saving My Soul 16 Dec 2019 16:32 #345997

davidt
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Mark18 wrote on 16 Dec 2019 16:20:

DavidT wrote on 16 Dec 2019 15:28:

Being that this is a forum post and not a PM chat, I'll try to explain in a way that might help others.
When I got married I made a firm commitment never to masturbate again and I kept to that. The reason I was able to do was because of a very firm belief in and fear from Hashem and the disaster we cause for us and our children when we act out.
When I later fell with porn I still had the fear of the actual acting out and I always stopped looking after a short period of time because of what it might bring on...
It's a fact that for me the gazing is a tougher test and urge than the actual acting out... There is a concept of טוב מראה עיניים מהלך נפש
So my life's project now is to completely STOP even the slightest action that has any connection to lust... only withthe help of Hashem and the support of my good partners on GYE

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @ ahavayirah@gmail.com