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Esteem-trouble and learning questions
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Esteem-trouble and learning questions 668 Views

Esteem-trouble and learning questions 09 Sep 2019 05:16 #343444

  • Dust2Dust
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Right now my frequency of P*** and mzl has been the worse it has ever been. I am right now dorming in college alone, and that might have something to do with it. I feel pretty lost, and filters seem to mess with my building wifi. I learn and exercise to no avail. Should I start going to Minyan? I have some acquaintances with whom I spend a  1/2 hour a week but other than that I am pretty alone. I call my parents for everything and have low self-esteem. I am a loser who procrastinates. However, I don't think  I am depressed since I talk to my parents a lot, and go outside for classes, food, and exercise.
Do you guys think I should switch from Gemara to Mussar? I want to fear G-d more and have more energy to get initiative. Furthermore, is learning with woman or conversing with them casually appropriate? I go to a pretty modern Hillel where girls and boys learn together and eat meals together. Maybe I should stick with talking to guys?
Dust2Dust

Re: Esteem-trouble and learning questions 09 Sep 2019 11:22 #343448

  • Hashem Help Me
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Welcome to GYE. First of all you are NOT a loser!!! You are a courageous individual who is putting shame on the side and reaching out for help with something many many people - nice normal successful frum people - struggle with. Stay connected, keep posting and b'ezras Hashem together we will get you out of this mess, like so many others bh have.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Esteem-trouble and learning questions 10 Sep 2019 21:38 #343487

  • ColinColin
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Welcome.

I had a similar college experience, so I really understand your post.

You are in college...a difficult environment.
You are young and surrounded by single eligible women.

As for the women....perhaps you can make a shidduch?
If these are eligible Jewish women then use the opportunity to find a wife.

As for the friends, I hope you can join interest groups and societies and sports clubs and make friends through these.

It does not seem right to me that you only hang out with acquaintances for half an hour per week.....in college I would hope you can make some friends and socialise a bit more....you should be able to make friends who can be a network for you in life and career for many years.

As for keeping clean.....take it day by day.
Log in here, and learn bit by bit how to keep clean.

And above all, do not put pressure on yourself, and mix more with others...your post reads like someone who is trying to reach high standards and living a much too solitary life....which whilst admirable to have high standards...these standards are crushing you.

Put your college work first of course, you are there to learn.
But breathe a little too.
Last Edit: 10 Sep 2019 21:40 by ColinColin.
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