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Philling Back Up
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Philling Back Up 1869 Views

Philling Back Up 26 May 2019 02:44 #341421

  • phill up
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Hello all,

I’ve been on and off the site throughout the past few years. I have grown a lot and gotten much emotionally healthier, but like everyone else, I am really just trying to take it one day at a time and get healthier every day. I’ve experienced several setbacks, as I did yesterday, but I just realize how it’s even more important to bring this struggle out in the open and build connection. I plan to write more often, whether via chat or in this forum, to connect more and more to real amazing things instead of the porn and false perceptions that rattle me and cause me to question my self-worth. Please fell free to reach out to me at alwaysresilience@gmail.com and hopefully we can all grow together. You all inspire me- Ain Davar HaOmeid Lifnei HaRatzon. Never question what you can contribute to this chevra.

Re: Philling Back Up 26 May 2019 20:51 #341442

Good Luck!
Were rooting for you!!

Re: Philling Back Up 26 May 2019 23:57 #341449

  • hakolhevel
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Hatzlacha rabba!
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: Philling Back Up 27 May 2019 04:06 #341459

  • phill up
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Thank you everyone for the kind wishes. I had the great pleasure of attending a wedding of some family friends. While these events can certainly be a nisayon, I was able to focus on the wonderful relationship that I have with the Baalei Simcha. I was reminded of the value that I have to them and how much they appreciated my joining in the simcha. 

Often, when we struggle, it is because we feel disappointed, upset, frustrated (these are some triggers for me). These feelings cause us to question our self-worth and disconnect from people. When we turn to the escape that is sexual articles, masturbation, porn, and the like, we only disconnect further and feel an even greater void. When next faced with disappointment, frustration, and the like, let’s remember those who really value us. Maybe it’s a friend, a family member, or even the janitor who smiles at you after you greet him with a warm Good Morning. We all have such incredible value. Let’s remind ourselves of its glow and recognize its light.

Re: Philling Back Up 28 May 2019 06:30 #341492

  • phill up
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Unfortunately, I fell during the latter part of the day. I searched for some material I had found the other day and ended up watching borderline porn. I am terribly disappointed by what I did. The best way to make up for what I did is to get back up and connect more to fellow chevra on the site and people/causes around me. Learning Mussar is important - not inasmuch because of Tochacha/Teshuva (though these can be important at the right times) but because it wires us on how to approach life in a directed and healthy manner. 
​I am certainly ashamed by what occurred. One thing is for sure - I WON'T GIVE UP!  I look forward to posting with more thoughts as I continue this journey and continue to become a better person.
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