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Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 596 Views

Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 22 May 2019 07:38 #341358

  • David26fr
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Stress and anxiety are very big issues for me, and the main causes for me to fall.
Especially because I have a very difficult relationship with my mother, and when she speaks to me with hurtful words that break me, it becomes the highway to hell...
(She lives alone and I am his only son. My father is dead since many years. It could take many and many pages to write this story, perhaps I will do it here one day...)

It's better than when I was younger, but it can be difficult sometimes to deal with these emotions. Sometimes, they invade me.

I also try to stop be worried about the events of the life, and taking things one by one. This helps but only at a certain limit...

Do you have some tools or tips to help ?
I am starting to read Rav Fanger's book about FHT method, do you heard about it ?

Thank you

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 24 May 2019 03:32 #341406

  • ColinColin
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There are ways to deal with stress...and I understand how criticisms from close relatives can hurt you and make you think you need porn to help you...as an antidote to the emotional pain.

I recommend above all else - Mindfulness.

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/beyond-self-destructive-behavior/201601/mindfulness-in-the-treatment-self-destructive-behavior

I also recommend 

Walking
Talking to Hashem
Reading a book that you enjoy
Creative writing
Playing a musical instrument
Meeting friends
Painting/drawing/fixing something around the house

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 24 May 2019 03:51 #341407

  • Sidewayz
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Colincolin you beat me to it. 
I’m sorry to hear about your situation. I know for me and plenty others mindfulness can be a game changer, it helps with stress, anxiety, and best of all ( at least for me) is it teaches you that your emotions and feelings aren’t you and don’t define you.
Theres this book called “finding peace in a frantic world” which is a 8 week mindfulness program and comes with 8 mindfulness meditations to go along with the program. 
Let me hear what you decide to do.
Hatzlacha!!

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 27 May 2019 07:25 #341460

  • David26fr
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Thanks for your answers !
I heard a much about mindfulness from a partner.

I tried to meditate, but after 3 or 4 minutes, I was feeling very unpleasant feelings like all my body was charged with electricity, and bizarre thoughts coming and coming... And then, all I could do was to stand up and stop.
I am not sure about to try it again, and I wonder if this reaction was normal.

Perhaps, I have to start it more progressively ?

And also, talking, reading are efficient, but in my case, only if yhe stress is not too high. Otherwise, the stress persists...

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 27 May 2019 11:33 #341466

  • Hashem Help Me
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Stress is a killer. I used to masturbate 3 times a day from it.......  I found therapy very helpful. In the beginning I also was given a low dose anti anxiety medication to give therapy a chance to be heard and internalized. Until I climbed out of deep stress I never knew that some people are actually calm....  Hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 27 May 2019 18:27 #341475

  • Sidewayz
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Everybody reacts differently to meditation. I’m not an expert but maybe it’s because you were fighting these thoughts and feelings as opposed to just letting them be. I would advise to google around and see if anyone else experienced it like that and see how you could go about this.

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 28 May 2019 01:03 #341487

  • ColinColin
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Mindfulness and meditation are not the same thing.

Kosher Jewish Meditation from a Chabad man named Gutman Locks can be found by searching for "Jewish Meditation explained" or searching his Mystical Paths website.
Last Edit: 28 May 2019 01:04 by ColinColin.

Re: Searching for tips and methods to deal with stress 28 May 2019 14:41 #341499

  • David26fr
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Thanks for your answers, I will take a look

I think I am not the first to have a such displeasant réaction to meditation. It's also so opposite to my nature to let the things go by themselves (I always want to control anything, like many of us I suppose...), so this could explain my reaction
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