My name is Yosef. I have posted to this forum one time more than 6 months ago. At that time, I also reached out to someone named Dov -but not believing that he would ever answer my email, I never checked my messages - until today...until a second before I was planning to act out big time with this computer. Somehow, with practically no will left to do anything except log into some shmutz, my frozen fingers typed in this site. Immediately I was reading a series of three emails that Dov send me back in June and July practically begging me to contact him. Instead of falling into lust I fell into tears...and after a few minutes of deep sobbing...the poisen inside me seemed to be gone. I was filled with new strength the Yetzer had lost his grip. Please know that these kind of things don't usually happen to me. The hidden kindness of a "stranger" just waiting to come out at the right time. Hashem - How great are your Works!

That is great! I'm glad that Dov could be there for you when you needed it...and I'm glad you were strong enough to turn to this site instead of doing things you didn't want to!

I think you might even want to repeat your story in the "feel the hugs" thread! Which, if I understand correctly, are stories where people feel hashem's hugs.

Hi Yosef, I am the admin of this forum. Dov is my Rebbe too, and we all love him to pieces on this forum. He is wise, selfless and humble (right, Dov?) (watch, he'll say he's not. and that's the biggest proof! check mate  ;D)

I made a little search and I found your previous post in July. It seems you are an SA Jew, and those are my favorite type! Tell us a little about the groups you've been in... Don't you have fellow members to call, and a sponsor?

Anyway, welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Here's our standard welcoming letter to new members. Maybe you'll find something useful  :D :

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

Make sure to install a strong filter. It will be almost impossible to break free of this while having all the garbage within a mouse click away. See this page for one good filter option, along with instructions on how to install it best - and give away the password to our "filter Gabai"... See this page for another 20 (or so) filter ideas and information...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Great story Yosef,

We should all learn from this that we are never a lost cause. Hashem will always reach down, no matter how deep the pit is, and pull us out if we do a little. I hope this is an eye opening inspiration to you and you heed the call of Hashem. Stay on the forum and keep posting.

-Yiddle

As they say “timing is everything”, welcome home my friend glad to have you on board.I too am relatively new to the forum and have found tremendous chizuk by staying in touch.. 

Dear Yosef,

Before we heard of GuardYourEyes we felt alone in our world. We felt that we’ve been living double lives struggling with a problem that we’ve kept secret for so long.  Intrenched deep in our pursuit - caught by the grips of lust, some of us have come to believe that our lives have become unmanageable. Still, engulfed in shame and embarrassment, we have felt that there was no-where to turn for help. But then, when we came across GuardYourEyes and found that there are others exactly like us, we’ve discovered the tools, guidance, and support to find freedom from what ails us! This is our story, and now it's yours!

Yosef, welcome to our community!  Why don’t you take off your coat, get comfortable, and stay a while! I’m glad you’re here! And in no time, you’ll get to meet all the wonderful people who stand to your support!

We invite you to have a look around, sift through the many threads, and make use of the tools that GuardYourEyes has to offer. If you’d feel comfortable opening up and sharing, I can assure you that this is the greatest step you can make towards recovery! So go ahead, pull out your keyboard, and get writing!

As long as you’re here, we'll be standing by your side, fighting alongside you! And let me tell you: there aint no turning back!

I’ll be available for most hours of the day, so you can send me a shout-out anytime, right here on the site, or via email at: Tomim2B@gmail.com.

I wish you much success and blessing in your journey, and may we soon see the brilliant light that you’re about to bring into the world!

With love,
2B

Dear Yosef Hatzadik,


You couldn't have picked a better Parsat-Hashavua for yourself to come back to the forum!

Welcome back, and good luck.

  --Eye.

Dear Yosef HaTzadik, 

Because of your name, I thought it would be appropriate to tell over this story:

Two Chassidim were once staying in an inn on their way to see R' Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev. While her husband was out, the innkeepers wife bolted into the room of these Chassidim and, weapon in hand forced them to commit an aveira with her. In the face of this difficult situation the Chassidim had agreed to fulfill her wishes, and only requested to use the bathroom beforehand. Happily, she allowed them access to the bathroom, which to her shock and surprise, as soon as she had let them in, they jumped right into the pit below the outhouse. Covered in dung, the Chassidim climbed out, and said - "Ok! We're ready! You can imagine how quickly the innkeepers wife lost interest in them and took on repulsion instead.

The Chassidim seized the opportunity and ran, leaving all their possessions behind. With nowhere to go, and only a short distance from the Berdichever's shul, that is where they headed. When they arrived it was just before mincha, and people were assembling in the shul getting ready to daven - only that they were waiting for their Rebbe -R' Levi Yitzchok of Berdichev - to arrive. These men, covered in human feces, and without the opportunity to clean themselves, entered the shul as is. They looked disgusting, and their odor was just unbearable! It was in the dead of the winter, so cold and wet, they squeezed in next to the heater located in the back of the shul. It wasn't long before the stench of cooked feces began to fill the room. When that happened, those present had gotten angry at them for bringing this terrible odor into a shul - a place of prayer, and they had wanted to throw them out.

Just as they were about to be removed from the shul, that's when the Rebbe walked in. R' Levi Yitzchok as he walked into shul breathed in deeply from his nose (savoring the smell) and as a pleasant smile spread across his face he said out loud: "Yosef HaTazdik! Ahhhh, the smell of Gan Eden!".

G'luck on your journey,
2B

Dear 2B,

Thankyou for one of the most inspirational stories I've ever heard. With guys like you around I feel better already! Hashem will help you to continue helping others!

Have a great Shabbos Chanukah!

-Yosef