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making the silent battle...not.
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: making the silent battle...not. 83973 Views

Re: making the silent battle...not. 23 Dec 2009 23:38 #37445

  • silentbattle
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First of all, today's Shmiras Einayim Chizuk email was AWEsome!
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 23 Dec 2009 23:45 #37447

  • silentbattle
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I usually don't consider myself an extreme person, but a few years ago, as Elul came along, I decided that for one Elul, I could do something that (to me) seemed a bit extreme, the kind of thing that "those" guys do. You all know what I mean - thy guys that take things just too far, etc.

Anyway, I decided that whenever I left super-chareidi areas, I would take my glasses off. Just an extreme Elul thing.

To my surprise, it was liberating! I suddenly just didn't have to battle my eyes, didn't have to fight to avoid looking at things I didn't want to...everything became a blur of shapes, to the point where I could barely tell that a particular shape was a woman!

Unfortunately, while I did end up doing it past Elul, it didn't last as long as it should...but I'm starting to do it again, albeit not on a regular basis. And it just feels great!

I kinda feel like it's a perfect example of "let go and let God," because by taking off your glasses, there is a certain loss of control...

As a side note, the first time I did this recently, I got an almost instant wave and hug from Hashem (in a form that made it clear (to me) that I'd done the right thing) - in the form of an opportunity to do a mitzvah! A half-block after taking off my glasses and slipping them into my pocket, I noticed a frum-woman shaped blob in my blurry vision, about to start dragging a baby carriage up the stairs to an elevated train station. I seized the opportunity for a mitzvah, and helped her with it, and got the bonus of not even having to know what she looked like!

Hashem, you ROCK!

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Re: making the silent battle...not. 24 Dec 2009 00:00 #37454

  • silentbattle
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Talking to my rebbe today, I mentioned how amazing it is to be part of pretty much the only group in klal yisroel that is fighting this incredible nisayon that the majority of people face. I told him how great it feels to be part of this group, and Eye's story is a perfect example - he had the opportunity to get by his filter, but was able to follow what he knew was right.

So much of klal yisroel is so far behind in this fight - they might not all be looking at po#n, but certainly when it comes to ebing mz"l.

I have to disagree with Rage's song quote, "the front lines are everywhere (ok, I could give a good pshat in that quote, too, but my point is...)." Truth is, the front line is HERE! We are the front line!

As always, I am awed and honored to be part of this group, with every one of you who has decided to follow what is right and sign on here - even just once.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 24 Dec 2009 23:13 #37855

  • imtrying25
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beautiful battesilent. Keep on battleing.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 13:06 #38015

  • silentbattle
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Thanks, IT25 - good to know that someone's reading my thread ;D
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 13:25 #38023

  • imtrying25
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silentbattle wrote on 25 Dec 2009 13:06:

Thanks, IT25 - good to know that someone's reading my thread ;D
Oh cmon man dont be so sensitive.  Good Shabbos and Hatzlacha.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 13:28 #38024

  • habib613
i read too...
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 14:26 #38041

  • silentbattle
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Thanks, both of you 

Sometimes it just feels like...well...anyway, thanks.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 14:42 #38048

  • habib613
like your being ignored? :D
we can't ALL post in EVERY thread.
but this thread is for YOU, to record what your feeling/ doing.
and you can do that even if no one replies.

just as an aside, i kinda stopped reading all the newbie threads, just because of time constraints, but I am still reading yours.
KUTGW, silent! not only do you give people incredible ideas here on your thread, but you also encourage so many people!
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 14:48 #38051

  • silentbattle
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Thank you...and I appreciate it! 

I know that this is just my neediness rearing it's head...but I have to balance that realization with the equal realization that it's my neediness that gets me into trouble.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 25 Dec 2009 17:20 #38076

  • sci1977
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Keep on going.  I read this thread everday.  Stay postive and good things will happen.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 26 Dec 2009 16:36 #38114

  • imtrying25
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silentbattle wrote on 25 Dec 2009 14:26:

Thanks, both of you 

Sometimes it just feels like...well...anyway, thanks.
Hey leu join the club. I get like a post every two weeks on my thread. Cmon man you a man, forgot?? :D ;D :D ;D
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 27 Dec 2009 06:04 #38194

  • silentbattle
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Ha - IT25, I could respond that considering the nisayon that we're all trying to deal with here, yes - I AM trying to forget. But I won't go there 

Thanks - IT25, Sci, Habib...The reason this means so much to me is that honestly, one of the main reasons (maybe THE main reason) I had all this trouble to start with, was my loneliness. Lots of friends, but B'H they're almost all married, mostly with several kids. My relationship with my parents is OK, but not very close, and for their own reasons, they're not really capable of providing emotional support.

So this community helps take the edge off that.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 27 Dec 2009 08:27 #38241

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YOU ARE SOMEBODY SPECIAL!!!
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 27 Dec 2009 14:23 #38468

  • imtrying25
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silentbattle wrote on 27 Dec 2009 06:04:

Ha - IT25, I could respond that considering the nisayon that we're all trying to deal with here, yes - I AM trying to forget. But I won't go there 

Thanks - IT25, Sci, Habib...The reason this means so much to me is that honestly, one of the main reasons (maybe THE main reason) I had all this trouble to start with, was my loneliness. Lots of friends, but B'H they're almost all married, mostly with several kids. My relationship with my parents is OK, but not very close, and for their own reasons, they're not really capable of providing emotional support.

So this community helps take the edge off that.
btw did i ever tell you that............YOUR MY BESTEST FRIEND!!! And i mean it, really!!!!
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