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making the silent battle...not.
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: making the silent battle...not. 83978 Views

Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 01:30 #32766

  • silentbattle
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Thanks, Eye! So are you! You help inspire me!

I wish I could just tell everyone about my success and victories!

IT25 - I think they're similar in that both give a blunt explanation of how the world works. They are different, but in many ways, they're the same - they're both from Kelm, right? Though R' Dessler has a broader range of influences, I think.

Reb guard, I like your p'shat...but (I'm cringing a bit here, because I'm still new, and I don't know if what I'm about to do is a huge faux pas (that's right folks, that's pronounced "fowks-paaz." Anyone saying it differently is wrong))...you seem to be saying that the purpose of the yetzer hora is to make us dependent on hashem. My understanding is that the purpose of this world is to improve ourselves and connect with hashem on our own (I'm basing this on my admittedly limited understanding of the beginning of derech hashem), and that's what the yetzer hora helps us do....?
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 12:04 #32793

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IT25 - I think they're similar in that both give a blunt explanation of how the world works. They are different, but in many ways, they're the same - they're both from Kelm, right? Though R' Dessler has a broader range of influences, I think.

Yes that is definitly on the mark. R Dessler was alot into chassideshe seforim while R Yeruchem was based much more on the like of Ramchal, Rabbeinu Yonah, and the previuos Ba'alei Mussar. R Dessler is m uch more philosophical as well. And yes they both learnt in Kelm , but at different times though.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 13:20 #32822

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Still, R' Dessler quotes plenty of litvish sforim, and what I've discovered is that R' Yeruchum, in a very low-key way, gets into deep kabbalah-type stuff.

As an aside, I was recently talking with a friend who said that some guys he knows learn R' Dessler before they go to bed, because it's "light reading, pretty easy and simple." huh? I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 20:19 #32979

  • imtrying25
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Ive had people tell me things like that before and i just walk away thinking how theyre missing out on so much. And i agree with the kabbalah part. Also i didnt mean to say that R Dessler wasnt into litvishe seforim just that he used alot of chassidic seforim as well. Mainly the Ta'anya. Although there were rumors that R Yeruchem did too ( for those who read mishpacha) i confirmed it with family members and it has absolutly no basis. My rebbe is a grandson and my brother is married to a granddaughter.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:03 #33062

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It's kinda like (l'havdil) looking at a brand new ferrari, and the only compliment you have is that "it has chairs inside."

I think that whether you've got litvish or chassidish blood, kabbalah is kabbalah. And there were plenty of litvish mekubalim. Although like I said, I think R' Yeruchum's kabbalh tends to be more low-key, or possibly just less-explained. or so it seems to me.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:06 #33064

  • imtrying25
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Nice mashel SB. And maskom on the rest. We should make a chavrusashaft. :D ;D
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:10 #33070

  • silentbattle
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In other news...I'm still clean, and generally doing well, not feeling a constant struggle, though there are moments that I miss the old relationships.

And to make things harder, it looks like it's going to be at least another month or two before I can start dating again. So I don't even have that to look forward to, yet...

Sigh.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:12 #33074

  • imtrying25
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C'mon man dont let that get you down. Try to think of the positive aspects. Like no thinking should i shouldnt i or is she the right one etc etc. Hang out with the guys for some time. It can be fun too.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:19 #33081

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Well, yes - if most of my friends weren't married, and/or living in a different state/country. Which is a major part of my problem, honestly - the reason I got involved in the aveiros I did was because I needed to feel like I was connecting to something, I wanted to feel less alone.

That's part of the reason that GYE helps me - I feel like I'm part of something, a group of friends...I get support, and can give, as well.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:24 #33084

  • imtrying25
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Dov would tell you.. i can give support and get as well. Our focus has to be on giving. Somehow this helps us in this whole thing. Sorry to hear about your sitch. Im sure its tough. So keep on posting here cuz we all luv ya bro!!!
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:33 #33086

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I know - and I do like giving support.

Thank you, I know...I'm still trying to get to know everyone on here...
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 07 Dec 2009 23:41 #33088

  • imtrying25
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Dont worry brother youll get there and before you know it you wont be able to keep up. :D :D
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 08 Dec 2009 13:13 #33171

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Just took another difficult step...said goodbye to a woman who I'd been friends with. It was hard, not just because we were attracted to each other (which we were), but because we weren't even meeting, we were just talking on the phone, as friends, so I could justify it...and she really needed someone to be there for her, and I liked that being me.

But, I have no doubt that I did the right thing. I just wish I didn't feel so grimy, like I'm abandoning a friend, while doing the right thing.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 08 Dec 2009 14:56 #33191

  • sci1977
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Just keep going.  Your own will and G-d's help will get you and the rest of us through.
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Re: making the silent battle...not. 08 Dec 2009 15:19 #33203

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I just wish I didn't feel so grimy, like I'm abandoning a friend, while doing the right thing.


Yes, we've seen this on our forum before... the feelings when letting go of an unhealthy friendship or girlfriend are painful indeed, and the bad feelings can linger for a while.... but the reward you will get for this difficult step is unfathomable. We salute a brave soldier of Hashem!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
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