Hi All and may Hashem Yisborach bestow all good to you.

I myself suffer from z"l with and without internet for approx. 23 years starting at 13 innocently.  An addiction is differnt than an awareness.  With an awareness you can act or not act based on that influence.  Not so with addiction; once you're addicted, logic does not work.  Does it???  We guys struggle our hearts out to rid ourselfs from this addiction and cry our pillows and sometimes we think that it's all in vain.

Let me add something to the forum.  I have the machla may hashem spare all of you.  Guess what??? It's not even one iota easier for me than for you guys.  Why? the ADDICTION.  again and again; the ADDICTION.

What I am trying to do is follow some of the ideas in the wonderful GYE website and found something that might work.

When in bed and an urge due to bad thoughts come to me, I jump out of bed saying: why am I in bed to start with?  Unless I'm dead tired why am I here????????  I'll stay out until I'm dead tired; then I'll sleep IY"H. 

I try to fight the triggers NOT the urges.  I try to occupy my mind with torah vchassidus or work diligintly when called upon; just mind bloggers to erase the urges from the backdoor.

Guys, it's a WAR but I'm sure that together we will WIN and sing a song of netzuchin forever IY"H.

Dear Lustaway,

We all feel for you, and understand the Nisyonos very well.  If I understood you correctly, you have also been experiencing serious health issues - Refuah Sheleima, B'soch She'ar Cholei Yisrael!

The best place to start is with the GYE handbooks.  They have so many good tips and so much good advice.  Have you been through them the first time yet (once is not enough)?

Hi lustAway,

As we offered you already advice back in November on this thread, I will not repeat it here. But it is good to hear from you again!

The fact that you seem to suffer from illness, and yet you still struggle with the addiction is enlightening and eye-opening to us all. Perhaps you can tell us more about yourself, your age, your marriage status, your disease, when it was diagnosed, how it affected your struggle, etc.. and keep a log here to inspire us all!

May Hashem send you a refuah shleimah, benefesh, ubaguf. Amen.

Thanks Lustaway for sharing that with us,

Keep inspiring us by posting. As you correctly noted: we cant do this ourselves becuase if we could we would have done it already. I just thought of this: There is no "I" in GuardYourEyes. Hatzalacha Rabba and stay with us here. We need you.

-Yiddle

Refuah Shleima, keep on fighting!!!!!!!!