Welcome, Guest

triggers
(0 viewing) 
A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: triggers 3128 Views

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 13:15 #38906

  • buzi
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Thank you to all of you for yesterdays amazing experience. I left work yesterday feeling so positive and relieved. On my way home I did Chazara of the first tools of the GYE handbook and I also decided that the time has come for me to start working on changing my attitude, so I just printed off the Attitude handbook. (Untill now I felt that I had to start cleaning out my system first).
I am interested to know if anyone can relate to the following "trigger". I have found in the past (and yesterday was nearly another example) that days which have more concetrated Ruchniyus (for loss of a better description) will cause me afterwards to ...... For example after days of Selichos, or after I have Yartzeit. As if, after I have been hyped up spiritually I am uncomfortable being at that level so I bring myself down again. Does this sound wierd ?
Last Edit: by sardarusama.

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 14:09 #38928

  • silentbattle
  • Current streak: 1628 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3734
  • Karma: 15
I wonder...I know for myself, that although selichos is supposed to be a spiritually uplifting experience, I don't usually get as uplifted as I should. I usually just end up getting a bit more stressed out.

So, if your experience is that same, that would fit...if you're more spiritually in touch than I am (which probably, you are), then that's an interesting phenomenon. not sure how to explain it.
Last Edit: by Freeyhmdeal.

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 14:58 #38949

  • Eye.nonymous
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2696
  • Karma: 15
ovadia wrote on 28 Dec 2009 13:15:

I am interested to know if anyone can relate to the following "trigger". I have found in the past (and yesterday was nearly another example) that days which have more concetrated Ruchniyus (for loss of a better description) will cause me afterwards to ...... For example after days of Selichos, or after I have Yartzeit. As if, after I have been hyped up spiritually I am uncomfortable being at that level so I bring myself down again. Does this sound wierd ?



I grappled with that a lot.  I'd feel like I was doing so great, and coming so much closer to Hashem.  I felt like I was flying all day long.

Then, this feeling didn't last, and I'd feel REALLY down when it left; I'd almost fall.

So, for I a while I tried to knock myself down right away from these highs.  I would davka try not to reach for this feeling.

We're I'm holding now is I try to HOVER a little bit.  It's this inspirational feeling, but not too much.  ANd as it comes and goes, I don't crash because of it.

I try to stay more-or-less even keel.  I try not to get too high, and I try not to get too low.


Last Edit: by beahava.

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 15:11 #38956

  • bardichev
Ovadia!!

You hit the nail on the head!!

As a person who struggles and tries to shteigg during special "ruchniyus"times .Yes its very common

People suffer terrible yeridos during these special times

As an aside this is why in certain places (certain chassidim I'm just pointing this out everyone should keep his minhag) would down play Elul (a bit). ELUL IS NISHT KAYN BER, IN DEE GANTZA YUR IS NISHT KAYN MAPPIL KIND!
Ok this will lose its flavor in English Elul is not a huge bear,amd the rest of the year is not a stillborn I.E.they sought to down play it a bit for this very reason.
I find my hardest struggles are during shovavim and sefira

Ovadia it is common

My eitzah is the best defense is. A good offense

KEEP

ON TRUCKING

GEVALDIGGGGGGGG
Last Edit: by yfdygbu.

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 15:19 #38962

  • silentbattle
  • Current streak: 1628 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3734
  • Karma: 15
An interesting point, R' Bard...obviously, it has to be in balance, like you said.

By the way, by a bar mitzva recently, and they had Woodford there - i said, I'm going to have to take a drink for Bardy!

And I did.
Last Edit: by towardalong.

Re: triggers 28 Dec 2009 16:24 #39011

  • bardichev
silentbattle wrote on 28 Dec 2009 15:19:

An interesting point, R' Bard...obviously, it has to be in balance, like you said.

By the way, by a bar mitzva recently, and they had Woodford there - i said, I'm going to have to take a drink for Bardy!

And I did.


lchaim!! hic! thanks!
Last Edit: by horo.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 11:47 #39379

  • Eye.nonymous
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2696
  • Karma: 15
How are you doing today, Ovadia?
Last Edit: by absolute74.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 12:14 #39412

  • imtrying25
  • Current streak: 16 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3010
  • Karma: 2
Ovadia how are ya doing?? A little bird told me that you were thinkin of coming to our get together but i guess it didnt work out. Too bad. :-\

The baalei mussar say that Kol hagadol meichaveyro yitzro gadol himenu, goes on time as well. When we are in a more spiritual time the yh gets much much stronger. So what your feeling is perfectly normal.  ( it was short but to the point  )
Last Edit: by yitzyg.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 14:20 #39484

  • Kollel Guy
ovadia wrote on 28 Dec 2009 13:15:

Thank you to all of you for yesterdays amazing experience. I left work yesterday feeling so positive and relieved. On my way home I did Chazara of the first tools of the GYE handbook and I also decided that the time has come for me to start working on changing my attitude, so I just printed off the Attitude handbook. (Untill now I felt that I had to start cleaning out my system first).
I am interested to know if anyone can relate to the following "trigger". I have found in the past (and yesterday was nearly another example) that days which have more concetrated Ruchniyus (for loss of a better description) will cause me afterwards to ...... For example after days of Selichos, or after I have Yartzeit. As if, after I have been hyped up spiritually I am uncomfortable being at that level so I bring myself down again. Does this sound wierd ?

That used to happen to me all the time. I have developed all types of theories for why this happens, but in truth I just don't know the reason. But that doesn't stop me from benefiting from the knowledge, I know to be EXREMELY careful in the 24 hrs following a spiritual high. And this way I'm not thrown off guard.
Last Edit: by inno.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 14:38 #39501

  • jerusalemsexaddict
imtrying25 wrote on 29 Dec 2009 12:14:

Ovadia how are ya doing?? A little bird told me that you were thinkin of coming to our get together but i guess it didnt work out. Too bad. :-\



I never got this.
Some people seem to have birds that deliver messages to them.
How do this work?
Is it only for some people?
Help!!
Last Edit: by energeticswan37.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 14:57 #39509

  • TrYiNg
others have ducks..
Last Edit: by assaf.

Re: triggers 29 Dec 2009 15:01 #39510

  • jerusalemsexaddict
O.
Thanks for clarifying.
I feel much better now.
Last Edit: by gmherschander.

Re: triggers 30 Dec 2009 14:07 #39972

  • buzi
  • OFFLINE
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Kollel Guy wrote on 29 Dec 2009 14:20:

ovadia wrote on 28 Dec 2009 13:15:

I am interested to know if anyone can relate to the following "trigger". I have found in the past (and yesterday was nearly another example) that days which have more concetrated Ruchniyus (for loss of a better description) will cause me afterwards to ...... For example after days of Selichos, or after I have Yartzeit. As if, after I have been hyped up spiritually I am uncomfortable being at that level so I bring myself down again. Does this sound wierd ?

That used to happen to me all the time.
imtrying25 wrote on 29 Dec 2009 12:14:
So what your feeling is perfectly normal. 
bardichev wrote on 28 Dec 2009 15:11:

Ovadia!!
You hit the nail on the head!!
Eye.nonymous wrote on 28 Dec 2009 14:58:

I grappled with that a lot. 

Thank you everyone. I am truly amazed at discovering that what I thought was a personal Mishigus is actually a common experience. I think that this demonstrates once again the Koach of GYE.
This is my question. The acting out that occurs as a result of this spiritual conflict, is it to fill an emotional/ psychological need (i.e. addiction) or is it a spiritual YH? Or is one gorem the other? 
I think that understanding this will help us learn how to deal with these situations.
Last Edit: by joyfulzebra63.

Re: triggers 30 Dec 2009 14:21 #39983

  • Eye.nonymous
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 2696
  • Karma: 15
I think sometimes the yeitzer knocks us down.

And sometimes it PICKS US UP AND DROPS US.

One yeitzer is "oh, I'm so low."

One is, "Oh I just got so high and I lost it... I'll never get it again."

I think, either way, we're supposed to just try and not get depressed about it.
And if we do, we're likely to fall.

In a funny way, I think they're both really the same thing.

Last Edit: by radiantbutterfly52.

Re: triggers 30 Dec 2009 16:33 #40076

  • silentbattle
  • Current streak: 1628 days
  • OFFLINE
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 3734
  • Karma: 15
I'm with you, Eye - the yetzer hora is more than happy to let us do a few mitzvos in trade for a lot of falling.

our job is not to listen to him, even when he poses as a tzaddik with a long beard, telling us to feel guilty and hopeless because of what we've done.
Last Edit: by resilientbison57.
Time to create page: 0.50 seconds

Are you sure?

Yes