to be honest, I'm feeling pretty bad and stupid and annoyed at myself. I'm thinking the next step is to completely remove internet from my phone because I'm just going around filters I've set up and managing to find something on the web that works for me. Is that the right step or will I end up figuring out another way someway? I started reading 'Garden of Purity' as well and still haven't received the handbook in the mail. I feel like such a failure and not even close to a chossid. I want to be getting closer to marriage but with mistakes like this I feel that I am only pushing myself farther and farther away from shidduchim, from piety, and from HaShem. It's not good..
