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Growing With The Chevra
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TOPIC: Growing With The Chevra 27388 Views

Re: Growing With The Chevra 28 Jun 2017 23:32 #316379

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B"H the journey is more solid than ever.
Why? 
I think 'cause I am more serious than ever about being clean, truly clean and that means taking my program really seriously.
I try to keep to a daily schedule which includes tefillah b'tzibur, learning, reading GYE handbook, talking to my partner who lately is leaning on me a lot(this helps me also of course), writing on the forum somewhat. 
Being steadfast on not coming within daled amos of triggers. This is a true sacrifice - no internet news, sports reports, youtubve is surely chazer treif. Absolutely no movies nor TV at all!! lately I am so determined to stay away from these things I don't sense the sacrifice.

it's been thirteen d,glorious days ODAAT                   Halivy Vyter

Re: Growing With The Chevra 30 Jun 2017 17:51 #316506

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Day 15

All is well except for controlling my eyes when on the street.
I know how to improve. I believe my hishtadlus is to pretty much continue my program as I am doing it. 
modify my approach somewhat before and during the time I am on the street but stay b'simcha
it's working  

WOO HOO!!! 

Re: Growing With The Chevra 04 Jul 2017 01:58 #316687

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B"H still Truckin'
The main difference so far on this count is being particularly strong on distancing  myself from  possible triggers.  

That's always been the beginning of a downfall for me.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 12 Jul 2017 04:18 #317076

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B"H still Truckin on a well paved Highway

Reading the Handbook, speaking with my partner, tough gedarim on my computer/triggers is helping to keep me on top of the game. 
lately, old memories have been surfacing(I'd rather not elucidate and trigger anyone) to entice me to lust - generally I am able to move my mind to safer/cleaner  thoughts 

Re: Growing With The Chevra 14 Jul 2017 03:41 #317177

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Doing great on the computer.

tough day on the streets and in the supermarket buying food for shabbos

Gotta plan that better with a tefilah before I leave the house

Re: Growing With The Chevra 10 Aug 2017 02:42 #318554

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Tonight's post is long overdue. B"H  I have been sailing along in uncharacteristically calm waters for days. No great tough challenges. Sure here a trigger, there a trigger everywhere a trigger trigger - but the intensity of each, hardly made a roshem on the Richter scale. Today however a random look at a passerby through me for a temporary loop. My mind starting making all types of inappropriate associations.
B"H it passed after a short while and my feet are now solidly planted on "normal" ground.(At least for the time being)
It did ever so aggressively remind me that sobriety can never be taken for granted. 
As well, I have been lax somewhat in my chizuk readings and talking to my partner.
Will tweak that. 

Re: Growing With The Chevra 17 Aug 2017 03:23 #318884

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Tonight I have a number of things on my mind that was making me apprehensive. I could well have had enormous anxiety.
 Instead I gained much serenity by going and adding an additional day on my 90 day count. As I added another day I thought Hashem has helped me this far, just do my best and let Hashem take care of the rest.
In the quest for daily sobriety we grow in multiple ways.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 29 Aug 2017 02:28 #319460

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Feel great about 75 days of good healthy living(for the most part) 
But my biggest challenge in the computer. Sure the street is a problem no doubt but the computer is the beginning of poor choices/habits that lead eventually to the pits. 
So my place of work has now moved me to a work spot that is more secluded than before There is a filter  but it's a very lame one to say the least. 
I pray I continue with the healthy living.
Hashem Ya'azor - to us all.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 18 Sep 2017 21:23 #320425

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I have passed the 90 day milestone again. I am very happy. Not the thrill of new found clean living that I experienced a couple of years ago when I first joined.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/45-Testimonials/253792-Thankful

It is however, a cautious deep-seated good feeling that I have made it this far and believe that if I continue with these attitudes and actions, sobriety will with G-d's help, hopefully follow.(although I have felt this before) 
When I started my newest trip on my journey, 95/96 days ago I used Taphsic- I felt particularly vulnerable and although I am not a big fan of Taphsic for the long run, it did help put me on the clean dry ground in those early most challenging days. I did not renew Taphsic and do not plan to.
My efforts are: to Daven to Hashem- includes giving the fight over to him - this is done not only at minyan but at any challenging  time. Reading supportive materials, working on chesed, particularly working on close relationships by being attentive and a good listener/being there at the moment, trying to anticipate what another might appreciate/need/want and trying to fulfill that. Be aware of any anxiety that might make running to P(drug of choice) more probable. In may seem odd but when I first joined GYE I was unaware of how I was not truly connecting to others. Also, I did not grasp how much anxiety can play a part in this struggle. In fact, if you would have asked my if I am a nervous person and if that is in any way detrimental to me, I would have responded that I am no more nervous than any one person. I have learned and grown much on my journey because of GYE Very important- to sacrifice my interests in various topics on the web, like news for example. Such web surfing, that appears on the outset as innocent, is probably not so innocent and has proven countless times to ultimately lead to a fall.

guardyoureyes.com/forum/45-Testimonials/280545-Meaningful-Growth
I am so happy to be on a good way as Rosh Hashana approaches. I am humbled to be a part of a group of guys who truly aspire and put in any and all efforts to live in a healthy wholesome worthwhile way.

You all want to truly live

May we all be granted loads of siyata dishmaya and be inscribed in the Book of Life.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 28 Sep 2017 17:31 #320718

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Just a short mention of one on a list of endless reasons why I feel gratitude to Hashem for his direct intervention in protecting me in the lust department. 
Just a few short days ago Anthony Weiner was sentenced to prison for his inappropriate communication with an underage female. Regardless of political affiliation and opinions I believe we can all agree that this politically successful man is not so dumb to literally throw his career, marriage and fatherhood out the window. He knew very well what the consequences of getting caught  would be. Yet he continued to engage in his self damaging behavior until he  really fell into the deep dark pits of failure and grief. 
I personally am aware of a number of people who lost their jobs/livelihood and much more due to being caught in similar compromising situations They include Rabbis, mechanchim and professionals in various fields..
Even when I was at my worst and engaged - I dare say in phone S, I never spoke to someone underage(as far as I know)
However, I know all too well that such a situation could well have developed. In fact I'm sure in the course of time it would have developed, had not G-d himself directly intervened to help me.
thorough GYE.
Thank you Hashem. Thank you GYE.
I pray that all of us will be spared such devastation. Better still - that we all will truly live wholesome fulfilling lives, and make Avinu Malkeinu proud to call us his people.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 28 Sep 2017 17:31 #320719

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Just a short mention of one on a list of endless reasons why I feel gratitude to Hashem for his direct intervention in protecting me in the lust department. 
Just a few short days ago Anthony Weiner was sentenced to prison for his inappropriate communication with an underage female. Regardless of political affiliation and opinions I believe we can all agree that this politically successful man is not so dumb to literally throw his career, marriage and fatherhood out the window. He knew very well what the consequences of getting caught  would be. Yet he continued to engage in his self damaging behavior until he  really fell into the deep dark pits of failure and grief. 
I personally am aware of a number of people who lost their jobs/livelihood and much more due to being caught in similar compromising situations They include Rabbis, mechanchim and professionals in various fields..
Even when I was at my worst and engaged - I dare say in phone S, I never spoke to someone underage(as far as I know)
However, I know all too well that such a situation could well have developed. In fact I'm sure in the course of time it would have developed, had not G-d himself directly intervened to help me.
thorough GYE.
Thank you Hashem. Thank you GYE.
I pray that all of us will be spared such devastation. Better still - that we all will truly live wholesome fulfilling lives, and make Avinu Malkeinu proud to call us his people.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 12 Dec 2017 05:31 #323609

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Hit 180. (for I think the third time)
Thank you Hashem.
Due to my compulsions - Inevitably one extreme or the other will become a reality. I will C"V fall into despair, depression and utter dysfunction OR I will have the siyata dishmaya to develop a wholesome, healthy lifestyle- with real live goals that include but are not limited to sexual sobriety. B"H I am learning more and generally engaging life. It is a breath of fresh air I don't take for granted.
Thank you GYE.
You have given me and continue to give me the understanding of the seriousness of my situation. Yet, by the quality and sincerity of your members, their wise words and support, you have provided comfort, hope and inspiration.

Please G-d, continue help us all!

Re: Growing With The Chevra 12 Dec 2017 11:57 #323617

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Mazel tov on ten times chai. Kein yirbu b'ezras Hashem. Beautiful and true post. Keep inspiring all of us.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: Growing With The Chevra 06 Feb 2018 21:35 #326563

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Or Chaim hakodesh says:(Shmos- perek23, asuk22)
In order to expect Hashem to take away the source of an evil desire we have to truly be disgusted with it. Then Hashem will  do his part to take away the temptation.(not an actual quote - just paraphrasing).

However, we don't always really mean it when we say, we find lust repulsive, or we consider  any inappropriate physical relations unacceptable.
For example: if we look back glowingly at times we picked up women and we figuratively tap ourselves on the back as if to say -"I was the man!" 
That's not being disgusted by lust.
It might be that we come from irreligious or very modern backgrounds where these things were at the very least tolerated if not encouraged. We might not really blame ourselves due to our age and circumstances we found ourselves then.
YET,  at this time, we have to truly sense that we debased ourselves for acting that way, irrespective if there actually was an excuse for our actions.

Re: Growing With The Chevra 28 Feb 2018 09:57 #327608

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How you doin' ? yiras ?
I bumped today into this thread ( i have not joined in ages )  . 
About the Ohr Hachayim Hak' you wrote about hating evil , maybe we can add to doing that the mere act of respecting ourselves.  Deep down we might have a wrong belief that we are not-worthy and have Shayachus to lust.  The last couple of months i've found that Louis Hay's affirmations did help me . Especially if in my childhood i suffered from emotional neglect by my caretakers who were supposed to support me emotionally .  
I think we better check our deep rooted belief system and do some changes there.
Hatzlacha raba !
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