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Group 196
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.

TOPIC: Group 196 38461 Views

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 05:01 #299587

  • shua73
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Thanks
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 05:07 #299588

  • shua73
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We have 5 out of ten from this group so far. Much better than the last group that I was part of that had either one or two people.

Gut Voch everybody  
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 11:33 #299594

  • LifneiHashem
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I had the same experience with the last group I was in, and it fell apart within a few days. We should come up with a way to keep it going. 

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 14:37 #299599

I may be interested in popping in here, now and then.
Maybe even be part of the group, if possible.
I didn't understand how to join officially...if important.
But I might not be ready for a group just yet.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 15:14 #299600

  • shua73
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Sure thing. Its not a problem. And just curious, what do you mean by not ready, the way I look at being part of a group, it's a way to get out of our shell and personal issues and be involved with others. Just being in a group should be helpful. But, it's not necessary that you feel like you're ready to be an open book with the people in the group. What's your thoughts on this?
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 15:34 #299604

I don't know who is in the group and if I will be a good fit for the group.
Also, I have a place/thread on the on the way to 90-day forum,
where I am opening up daily.
Lastly, I may want to be at a stronger place...let's say over 90-days clean,
before I join a group and feel I can really help others.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 15:37 #299606

  • shua73
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None of us know anyone in the group either. Take it day by day. And personally I think you help others just by being there. Its not correlated to how long you have been clean.
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 15:48 #299607

  • shua73
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If you were clean for a couple days you have those days experiences even if you're not completely clean. People have a harder time when it's themselves since they build walls and make up stuff in their head to explain to themselves what and why they are doing these things. But outsiders don't have those same challenges and desires for other people to make those cheshbonos. So you by virtue of the fact that you aren't me are a step ahead of me in seeing myself objectively. That in itself is helpful.
Additionally, as I was just learning recently, science has shown that our brains are plastic like. They mold and form based on our experiences. Thus, everybody has different experiences and different perspectives. I mean even if someone isn't clean they can help you by showing you what doesn't work. It's a growing experience that doesn't work in steps that first you fix yourself and when you're done you help others. If you go like that it may never happen. Instead as you grow bring who you can with you.
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 16:34 #299614

I certainly don't mind sharing my daily experiences with you or anyone else reading this,
but don't know that I would be adding anything that I'm not already posting on the 90-day forum.
So, I think it would make more sense for me to just continue posting there.
Once I build myself up more, I may have something more to add by joining a group.
I don't know. If you want to share this struggle together, sort of help each other
"keep the pace" in my running mushel, then feel free to join me.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 19:53 #299637

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I think I will start with the first non-introductory/initial discussion post. It says to make an effort to post a week so I will IYH endeavor to do so. I have been with GYE longer than most of you (since 2009) and I started posting at 2 different periods of time and then I felt burnt and removed all of my posts. I am hoping for greater success with a smaller group.

Today I am 5 days clean. A drop in the bucket for many of you, but of great significance to me. Not only have I not fallen for 5 days, I have not seen reason to request my K9 password from my shomer to unblock me. I am at this stage where I am losing interest in the waste of time geshmack pornography is taking away from me and although I am sure this alone is not sufficient, it is significant.
Last Edit: 11 Dec 2016 19:56 by quiet.

Re: Group 196 11 Dec 2016 21:24 #299650

Sounds like a step in the right direction.

Re: Group 196 12 Dec 2016 00:52 #299661

  • Hbowman
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Hi everyone! I was 15 days then had a fall.  I feel the longer I am clean the harder it is for me.  I can use all the support on this group!

Re: Group 196 12 Dec 2016 01:03 #299662

  • shua73
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Have you gotten up or are you still getting up from the fall?
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.

Re: Group 196 12 Dec 2016 01:14 #299663

  • LifneiHashem
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quiet wrote:
I think I will start with the first non-introductory/initial discussion post. It says to make an effort to post a week so I will IYH endeavor to do so. I have been with GYE longer than most of you (since 2009) and I started posting at 2 different periods of time and then I felt burnt and removed all of my posts. I am hoping for greater success with a smaller group.

Today I am 5 days clean. A drop in the bucket for many of you, but of great significance to me. Not only have I not fallen for 5 days, I have not seen reason to request my K9 password from my shomer to unblock me. I am at this stage where I am losing interest in the waste of time geshmack pornography is taking away from me and although I am sure this alone is not sufficient, it is significant.

Thanks for the share. I'm new to GYE (signed up in Elul) and have found that reading other people's stories has been a strong motivating factor in staying clean. I'm curious why you would remove your posts. 

Re: Group 196 12 Dec 2016 01:49 #299667

  • shua73
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For those that are interested, if you have a smartphone check out Habitbull in the appstore. It's a great app for keeping track of your progress. It's got some good features that I find helpful like friendly reminders along with the way it keeps track of your progress in multiple ways.
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You can't make everyone happy, you are not pizza.
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