Has anyone else been clean for over 90 days, but then had a relapse?

I have been on a 48 hour porn binge, but thankfully not had a physical emission.
This is after over 100 days free from a fall.

It has been triggered by an emotional upset.

I just read this article which provides a scientific answer as to why such a thing can happen.

It concludes that dopamine is triggered by stress...that is the chemical which gives us such a "rush" or "high" when we look at porn or act out.

It also, very importantly, states that once someone is addicted, they will experience strong cravings after giving up their drug of choice.
This is because the addiction has actually re-wired their brain in a way that disturbs normal circuits of reward and pleasure, and of memory and learning.

It is a very long detailed scientific article, but the conclusion is that relapses do occur, and they are an inevitable consequence of having been addicted.
The scientists have also discovered a way to re-wire the brain so that such relapses are less likely to occur, but the medical technology is in the early stages of being practical.

So if you do have a fall, know that it is almost inevitable considering your past behaviour.
You are far more likely to fall than someone who was never addicted to pornography or acting out.

So, rather than feeling really angry with yourself or despairing with yourself (Rabbi Nachman said there is no such thing as despair), instead pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on best you can on a positive path.

discovermagazine.com/2015/may/17-resetting-the-addictive-brain

Thanks. Real emesdik hischazkus

Interesting article here about the effects of stopign watching porn.

It is to do with the withdrawal symptoms....of how the body and brain will be effected by no longer stimulating dopamine.

I am going through this now.
Intense depression.

yourbrainonporn.com/what-does-withdrawal-from-porn-look-like

May the feelings ease up in time.

Yes, we've rewired our brains and fizzled them.

But there are success stories out there. 20, 30 years of sobriety. Keep looking forward. Sometimes it's best not to look at "why"... ;-)