The other thing I want is a list of all the things that trigger the addiction for people. Some examples off that bat I can think of are: being depressed, being bored, suffering the loss of a relative, losing a job, divorce, being angry, etc. I'm sure there are many more. The more we think of triggers, the more we can think about how we would cope with them in the future and the less likely that we'll falll in the future. We also might be able to get to the root of those triggers, and even stop those triggers from even happening in the first place, but we first have to be aware of what they are. I'm sure sometimes we find out triggers by accident, or we are surprised when they happen, and, unfortunately, to some extent, we may have to keep adding to our lists frequently, but my hope is that over time we become very in touch with the things that lead to falls and relapses, and hopefully we have less and less if them because we either have the trigger happen nut know how to cope without acting out, or, we find a way to prevent the trigger from happening in the first place.
Besides triggers, I'd like to know also what POSITIVE things people tell themselves that help them stay sober. I know there's the 90 day chart, and I'm sure that's a great place to start, but I find that the more reasons I have to do something, the more I'm likely to do it. Positive reasons give me motivation to keep going, because they show me everything I gain from being in the 12-step program. Most often, probably, the positives are simply the reverse of the negatives. For example, if a negative of masturbating is wasting 3 hours that I could have spent being productive, then if I don't masturbate I have 3 more hours in that day of productivity, (assuming I don't waste that time with some other addiction-related or obsession-related behavior that is counterproductive). Thanks!