Honestly in some cultures they believe that semen loss is correlated with a short lifespan. I believe so. Look at how enervated I can be sometimes. I feel so listless at times and stuff and i do not feel the drive, the need, or the motivation to take on anything in life. Just feeling like such a waste of space whenever I do so. I feel like even when I pray to God for help beforehand, he won't give me what I want? I mean, sometimes I feel like saying,"God is all powerful, but why doesn't he just heal me in an instant?" I mean, if he is so powerful and mighty and he wants others to worship him, then why doesn't he at least remove some of the homosexual desires that I have had in the past? I thought to myself all that time I could have been doing other things like being busy with other activities like helping others, doing community service, and stuff lik ethat, i could ahve done that instead. NO, I had to watch porn(sarcastically). That is so stupid. Why do I wait until now to wake up spiritually? It is already too late. i am an adult now and I do not want to watch porn until I am fifty like some people and then quit then. so stupid. I want to quit and I want to quit right now. i am determined even if it means coming on to this forum every single day to post all my personal issues, porn or nonporn related, and get answers? I am willing to take action. I don't think that anyone can stop me from recovering. I will let the whole world know if that's what it takes. I have already dulled that divine spark in me that I ahd een created with. I don't want to be immoral. I am sexually immoral. I would liek to stay sexually pure my whole life. I don't care if millennials(i am one as well) think I am crazy. I like to keep my eyes pure. I like to be holy and godly before God. I like to keep my eyes, my body, my soul, my spirit clean. If not, I feel like god has not completely forgiven me. sometimes i wish I can say to God that he take away these temptations. If not, then i will keep sinning til I hit gehennom.
