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How to help a good friend of mine - addict?
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TOPIC: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 1571 Views

How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 12 Nov 2009 20:20 #28029

  • Luria
I just realized that there is a good chance someone here has insight into this. Some help would be reall y appreciated. i gotta run to class soon so I hope this is clear.

My close friend is in a very prestigious professional program. He is in his mid 20's. He is a bright guy but always very lackadaisical about school. He studies very little but that litttle thta he does study plus pre-exam cramming give him good marks. He has always been into these silly computer games, but everyone has their silly things they waste time on. He has recently started playing an online RPG. For those who don't know what that is a role playing game - its is its own little world, running 24/7 where you build cities and buildings, form alliances with other real people playing the game, you can chat with them etc - in an effort to be the most powerful etc. 2 of his friends separately have come over to me to ask me to talk to him to get him to stop - . When I told them that he has always been playing these games in class they told me that he used to at least pay half-attention. he is now fully engrossed in the game during class - not paying attention to a word of lectures. He tells me how funny the people are that he chats with in the game and how great he is doing in the game. Over Shabbos he thinks about what he is missing in the game I know that he is even  up late playing it at home.  He has always been a little wacky but I am getting nervous.  Right now there is no way he willl pass any of his courses. I found someone  who explains why these games are so addictive.  http://wtfiswrong.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=59&Itemid=2 here. It is really its own little world. Type "RPG addictive" into Google and you will see alll the results

I once started telling him that maybe he should ease up on the game - he sorta agreeed to me but continued playing it. I don't want to get him insulted but this can really be horrible for his future. Bad grades = no job.
We have a close relationship and shmooze about everything - nothing is off limits. But I am not the type to give mussar. I want to say it right.
How should I approach him about this?
Last Edit: by stillhere.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 12 Nov 2009 22:35 #28075

  • the.guard
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Standard addiction... I remember reading an article once about how these games are completely addictive and destroy many lives. Your friend may have to hit bottom before he is ready to surrender. He may need the help of a 12-Step group or therapy. Sounds strange, but it's true.

You can only tell him what you know about addictions... You can't force him to get help if he doesn't want to himself.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by livi.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 01:04 #28086

  • Luria
Thanks - I will speak to him about it when I see him  this weekend. Believe it or not, I remember reading that meeting new people through theses games have caused marriages to be broken up.A game... so innocent looking. Crazy how todays technology has caused a whole load of new problems
Last Edit: by MoonStruck103.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 03:36 #28108

  • Luria
These things didn't used to bother me but these past couple of days they have been  -  I must be getting old. ???  

But even if we are working on ourselves what about the millions of other ppl in the world - being forcefed and exposed to all this tumah and not even realizing it. These same magazines and newspapers I have read my whole life and I never noticed it - I look at them now and they're all about prostitution, murder, sex, porn, affairs - and thats the main section!!!. I'm not even talking about the entertainment sections!!

Its very frustrating - even if we are working on ourselves - what baout our friends and the rest of klal yisroel. what is this world coming to and
what the heck are we doing about it???

I've never been bothered about this but there's gotta be a good answer

makes me sad thinking about it  :'( :'( :'(

Last Edit: 13 Nov 2009 03:55 by guidance.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 03:42 #28112

  • Luria
I am not usually this emotional so I think this might be the coffee talking....
Last Edit: by snakecharmess.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 04:03 #28119

  • Luria
Rage against the machine?don't you have to be from LA and have long hair to do that .... 

But seriously -  shkoyach - we are busy fighting for ourselves man!!

But what are we doing for for everyone else? Sit back and watch the world explode??
Last Edit: by BingG.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 04:19 #28126

  • Luria
Rage ATM wrote on 13 Nov 2009 04:06:

start with yourself...our revolution will grow...


Your right., start with ourselves.. Its just I  have no idea what happened these past few days but I feel like Neo in the Matrix seeing for the first time what the world is like. so much is fake and illusory that its scary.  i could see why he debated to take the blue or red pill.. Im just going for some plain old sleep 
Last Edit: by droctagon93.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 09:31 #28143

  • the.guard
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I'm just loving this banter between RATM and Luria.

LVR!

500 points
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Wannabeoved.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 09:41 #28144

  • TrYiNg
luria vs Rage??
Last Edit: by Living Sober.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 10:58 #28157

  • imtrying25
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People always say you cant change the world. To that i answer yes you can change the world ....by changing yourself. Maskim Rage?
Last Edit: by puravida2021.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 12:24 #28161

  • the.guard
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luria vs Rage??


Cute! But no.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Helpmepleasenow.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 13 Nov 2009 13:51 #28174

  • Luria
Loan-to-Value Ratio? ???
Last Edit: by toish.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 14 Nov 2009 21:23 #28290

  • the.guard
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I'm surprised no one got LVR... Rage, not even YOU?
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by KingSolomonTheWannabeWise.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 15 Nov 2009 16:55 #28455

  • Luria
Reb Guard one last guess - did you mean VLR  - Viva La Revolution!

Rage, I hope at least you appreciate that one.. if not, at least I humor myself...

Last Edit: by BeardedJ.

Re: How to help a good friend of mine - addict? 16 Nov 2009 00:19 #28529

  • the.guard
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WOOPS. I guess I meant VLR

500 points to Luria!!

Rage, you really should collect them. They may come in handy one day. With enough points, you can get a hug from Uri or a poem from letakein, or a yiddish proverb from Bardy....
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by Rona.
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