Hi.

I'm new to the post but have the feeling that this initiative will finally set me free.  Hatzlacha and thank you for such a needed service.

I used to watch porn for hours at no end at work and at home.  At work I had T1 line and watched hours upon hours.  I stopped about 3 years ago but still have the images vivid especially when encountering women not tzniusdik.

I have a terrible time with z"l and cannot kick the habit.  I learn lots of torah and chassidus and am very smart and bright and need help.  I have promised and made nedarim without success.  I average at least once per week and would like to stop altogether.

Please help fast...

lustaway

Dear lustAWAY,

Welcome to our community! You've come to the right place. Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

It is known that vows don't generally work very well with addictions. But they still can be a powerful tool if used wisely. I suggest you make Hataras Nedarim on all your old vows, and create a series of NEW vows using the strategies outlined on this page as well as on this page. The trick is never to make a vow directly not to do the addictive behavior, but rather to make all types of vows AROUND it - as fences... Or to make a vow to do something you really don't enjoy doing, if you fall... Or before you let yourself fall... And only make vows for short periods of time at first, until you learn what works for you...

The images you viewed in the past, coupled with the hz"l have ingrained an addictive pattern in your mind. Even after stopping to view the images, the addiction is still being fed through your imagination and hz"l together... Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

One of the options in your poll above was "Talk to Someone"... We have a hotline where you can talk to someone with experience, both in the U.S and Israel. See this page.

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day. We need constant support and daily Chizuk is a very powerful way to keep strong.

Also, post away on this forum. You will get tons of support and advice. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

Welcome LustAway.

You've come to the right place.

Welcome to the forum.

Good luck to you.

welcome!!
it's very brave of you to post and it will help you so much!
keep posting!
letakain21

Hi! Welcome Away with Lust,

Its not about Torah.

Its not about Musar.

Its not about Chasidus.

I guess that's obvious to you by now after all this time trying.

Read the hand books & then we can talk.

Yes! Torah,Musar & Chasidus is a great help but only when we realize what the problem is & how to deal with it will the Torah help you live life.

So press delete (it aint that simple as ctrl alt delete) and start from fresh with a new outlook & understanding that you will achieve through reading the Hand Books.

Also get on the 90 day wall of honor it will give you a goal to look forward to. and keep on posting as you go along. it will help us as well as yourself.

Ashrecha Yisroel
Efshar Letaken