As suggested by eye, I am starting a new thread based on what was started in the "ghosts from the past thread.  Basically the question here is that this is for people who have same sex attraction issues and tips on how to deal with those and input from other people.  See above mentioned thread for more info.

Good luck on this thread.. If there's enough demand, I may make a whole board for this issue.

I just want to bring once again the link to this page, which contains many links to organizations as well as great articles on the subject.

P.S. Why SSS? Shouldn't it be SSA?

i was typing on an ipod.  thanks for the quick reply.  ive seen the page.  ive spoken to arther greenberg of JONAH and a few other people, and we've concluded that organized programs arent for me.  it just wouldnt work.  'm more of a one:one type person.

Coby613,

Thanks for taking the initiative and starting this thread.
I have  a feeling there will be a lot of readers,
and hopefully those in need, will begin to post too.

As isolated as frum  s*x addicts feel
I imagine its 100 times harder for those struggling with SSA.

But it's all the same monster
just different arms strangling us

Good luck!

it is very very hard. and it feels as though the world has been lifted off your shoulders when you think you've snapped out of it.  but it comes back and bites very suddenly and very hard.  messes up your thinking.  "i know its not right, but this is how it is", "it's the only thing that could be the answer, but am i willing to accept it?", "it could not possibly be the answer because why would HASHEM do this to me if i was not allowed to enjoy it", "forget Hashem, just use it to my advantage" "Hashem hates me" the conclusion is "I hate Him back" and then its definitely not a satisfying argument with yourself and it never ends.  I dont think someone who has never gone through it could possibly understand.

www.guardureyes.com/GUE/FAQ/FAQ22.asp

Someone posted a beatiful letter from Rav Twersky on this issue, but I don't know how to find it.

He explained the outlook to have on this issue, and I was pleasantly shocked.  It was really EYE opening.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 06 Nov 2009 07:57:


There is also a letter from Rav Aharon Feldman, cited on Coby's previous thread.

rehab-my-site.com/guardureyes/forum/index.php?topic=834.msg14220#msg14220

Kedusha wrote on 06 Nov 2009 14:04:


..oh that was it!  No wonder I couldn't find it.  ;D

Well, I guess you've seen that before.

I once spoke to R' Aharon Felhman about that letter during a Torah UMesorah event. He said he was writing it to a specific individual (and actually did write it for publishing, but doesn't regret that it was) - "who now is building khal yisrael across the globe - whenever I hear his name I chuckle from happiness".

yeah, problem is I don't think I'm really homosexual.  kinda feel like i want it but i really dont.

Thank Hashem for that. That means you can have one day a normal Jewish home, be"h!

So you have desires for immoral things. Which addict doesn't? Don't we all desire the married women we see? Isn't that sick? Yes. But what can we do? We can only work on ourselves and not 'act' on our crazy compulsions!

i dunno.... the resurgence of this issue has aggrivated my depression to a point where im very desperate to break the cycle.  sometimes have thought of taking drastic measures...

Well, all I can suggest is therapy...

May Hashem give you simcha and strength!

coby613 wrote on 09 Nov 2009 23:20:


The most drastic measure is GETTING HELP!
You are no longer alone with your pain Coby, and we are all here for  you no matter what.
Those who hurt you so badly in the past  were the 'victors' back then.
By giving up the fight now, you allow them to win again
AND THEY DONT DESERVE THAT!
You have it in you, to banish their hold on you forever.
We're davening for you, and with you.