Oops! Thanks for the clarification! Now lets all plan to spend some more quality time with our family

Maybe Guard can put the name of the person who started the thread in the topic line. Anyone feel like emailing him?

Serenity

Thanks for your response even if you got the name wrong

The message still hit home
To answer your question, the intensity of yom kippur created a sense of negativity towards tefilla for me. I havnt been going to shul properly for a while and itd been making me feel like im letting myself/god down and im a bad person for that

I can relate to that disconnect. I usually call Dov, if I'm feeling that way. He'd probably say something like "just live life" and focus on the positive. Maybe give him a call.

how have the shmuzzin with hashem going?

MBJ wrote:


MBJ you clearly are calling out sincerely to Hashem. That is the only way to go. As for your frustration. Yes, haven't we all been so frustrated and wonder if we really have a chance of making it. With thoughts like: I have sinned so often and so badly I seem not to be able to live without acting out? will Hashem really help me? Those guys who are sober have more strength of character than me!

MBJ this forum has had guys (many are not current posters) who were at their wits end at one point Now live their lives with meaning and happiness that they never thought possible - kedusha is my personal inspiration in this regard but he is by no means an exception.
Also Hashem gives a test that helps us improve in the ways we need to. Example: Shvatim Shimon and Levi had an anger problem so they became melamdei tinokos who can only succeed if they learn patience and self-control. We are in galus for sinas chinum we can only succeed as a people in galus by achdus and ahavas chinum or we are all cooked.
If you follow the ways that have proven to work for sobriety - with an emphasis to those particular tactics that speak loudest and most effectively to you and your personality. you will succeed. You will begin to form a relationship with Hashem(you have mentioned this already)that is deeper by the day.and you -in the course of time- will say loudly and proudly as so many of before you have said" I didn't ask for this mighty challenge of addiction but now that I have it and have reacted accordingly I am so much the better and happier man for it.
This take perseverance and TIME. As well many a spouse has said the same.

I hear your frustrations. I feel for you and your present pain. But buddy there is so much hope.