shalom everyone here at GYE.
since may i receive the daily mails, but didnt read them. only when it got over me, and then a ton in a row.
anyway, two days ago again i had a reading fit of the mails and decided to register and sign up here.

the last time i acted out - as some of you call it - was actually already a while back, a day before hoshana raba. and i could have kicked myself in the butt about it... because the last time before then was in elul.

and while immersing in the mikve on erev rosh hashana i again pleaded to the almighty that i am finished with looking at 'dirty' pics and acting out... i was a few times on the brink in the shower but stopped.

well as i said since the day before hoshana raba i am clean of acting out -but not of looking...

well it depends what you mean with being clean ? dont do both things?

i have a very long history of m...g, since age 7 or 8. and even my mom catched me and try to make me mussar, it didnt help at all.

well its a long story...... and i dont want to write about it alll right now, im just looking for a person i can have a s a mentor on the way out.

have a great clean time.






PS. today the first time i prayed the tikun haklali

May I have the honour to welcome you the first, deat fighter?

WELCOME WELCOME!

Your worries are all for the time you did not know GYE, once you are here everything will be diffrent. After all you are just like all our friends here, so let them all help you and you will be better in no time.

Soon R'Guard will post you the relevant links and that's where your journy starts.

Be ready, dear friend, for a complete change.

Hey Astronaut,

Welcome to our community! Once you’ve arrived, there’s no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up! I understand you are having problems with people sharing with you their personal triggering? stories. Don't be concerned we have members here who can help you! Let me introduce you to our friend Dov who has alot of experience in theses matters.

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

If you have any questions Guardureyes is the administrator is a tzadik and a talmud chacham so dont be shy with him or anyone else. If you'd like to chat with me email or IM me at Yiddle2@gmail.com

Have a great day!

Hi! welcome! everyone here is just like you- we're all in this together and you will see that it will help you so much to be a part of this holy group of warriors! KEEP POSTING!
letakain21

I just started reading some threads (postings like the one you just opened) and I am baffled how much chizuk there is there.

It pays to start reading as it all applies to each one of us!

Hello Guys.
Today i am here again...
have some progress i want to rell about...
first: i said/prayed tikun klalli again today.
second: i am able to look less on the women in the street, which are not exactly dressed zniut way. and at all, when i see a woman on the street so i say to myself aloud 'she is none of my business' and thats makes it easy to look away.
i mean, that my way of thought is, that woman is one of the best things G-d created....
and here in israel most of the women and girls are very beautiful, what makes it especially hard , not to look...
well anyway, i am still clean, baruch hashem, no acting out and looking less, though just looking doesnt make me want to do anything in the other direction. its just simple enjoyment of G-ds creation...   yeah, yeah,/// thats what you say now.  

but i with G-ds help will stay clean... oh i havent looked at 'dirty' pix, though i still hav a ton on my harddisk. i think there is time to erase them all, which will be soon.

my first born son has bar mizva on this shabbes, lech lecha.

thats all for today.

Astronaut,

Welcome. And Mazal Tov on the Bar Mitzvah. May he and all his siblings be a source of Yiddishe nachas to klal Yisrael.

What a perfect Bar Mitzvah gift to yourself and your family - erasing all those images on your hard-drive. The perfect message to Hashem, that what you wish for your son is kedusha and torah values, and as his father, you will do whatever it takes to help him acheive it.

Good luck and stay strong.

Brother

Did you ever realize how much wonder there is in a grass?

Do you realize that it has in it meat and bones and hair and milk etc.? I mean the sheep eat only this and they grow and produce!

So next time you get the urge to marvel at G-D's creation look down, it may be very interesting!

Woman's beauty, although a present from Hashem is only meant for their spouse! As the joke goes:

Man: G-d why did you make the woman so beautiful?

G-d: so that you will love them.

Man: and why did you make them so dumb?

G-d: so that they will love you... :D

As this was not intended for you don't let the menuval fib you.

Welcome aboard!! Here we are all in the same sinking boat but instead of just trying to help ourselves we are trying to help others because we understand that this is from the greatest ways of helping ourselves too. Im pretty new to this site myself but i can tell you that there is so much to gain from this site its unbelievable. Everyone here loves you for just who you are and cares for you though they dont know you personally. so BON VOYAGE

Hey astro
Bring your spaceship
Back into our orbit

We need you

Yo astronaut,

Read this page, top to bottom, for some good tips on how - and why - we should guard our eyes.

Shlom again my friends here....

back in the orbit as one of you aksed me to do...

Well, i want to tell you some things.
1. Its been the first time in many years that i didnt act out in the nidda period of my dear wife... and i am mighty happy about that. Toda Le Hashem. it was going quite well, toda again, no big problems or nisyonot to do it.

2. A few days before my big boys bar mizwa i erased all the images from my harddisk - nothin' there anymore. and of course i am happy about that too as you can imagine. We had a wonderful shabbat bar mizwa, the boy reading the whole parasha and the haftara, and afterwards we had a nice kiddush for the whole congregation...

The party itself two days later in a banquet hall was amazing as well and people said that they havent seen such a joyful bar mizwa in a time. baruch hashem... the cost was quite high in monetary means but who cares.

what is still to be done is erasing the favorites links of different sites which i didnt erased yet out of missing time not that i intend to keep them...

ok. but on thursday i will fly to germany for two weeks from work and that might possibly be a problem. because in past times being there my feet lead me into those certain stores if you know what i mean. but this time i intend to stay as far away from them as possible. in zurich, switzerland i even visited a st r i pper bar and a movie cinema of dirty movies....

it would be nice if you guys would pray for me that i will stay clean. and focused.

ok i think thats all for now.
shalom from jerusalem

I remember the lovely shops in Zurich you refer to, chaver...oy vei, how stupid the whole seems to me now, thank G-d. And thanks for sharing all the precious things you shared about so far, really. Anyhow, it's nice to see that you are in orbit, in your pressurized suit, and doing whatever it takes to remain free of the powerful gravitational force of lust. It is much too powerful for me to get into, at all.
With love and respect,
Dov

Reb Dov, can you elaborate? Is this because of the new saying at the bottom of your signature?

No, rabeinu, it isn't a cheshbon, if that's what you mean. I just cannot imagine subjecting myself to the inner pain and humiliation of actually going into one of those places any more. Not that I have forgotten at all what it's like to be crazy - it's just that life is so much better. And I was a very frequent flier in many establishments with ill repute, to put it mildly. But really caring about myself and my integrity was not there at all for the first 2-3 years of sobriety, cuz it took me a long, long time to get out of self-pity, the familiarity of sadness and pain, and to finally work my steps. After that, things started getting better. I had to start really seeing that if I don't work my steps in real life struggles right now, I'll surely start acting out again! The old crazy and dangerous stuff i did for lust, even porn and masturbation, are just an old, really bad movie to me, now. Well...at least until the next time I start wanting something! Then, look out!
I'm really stupid if I think I'm safe, though. In fact, davka because I feel free, I'm occasionally terrified that "there is no way I'll be sober a month from now....[b]see where thinking too much get's me? Hope I didn't share too much for the forum there. Just another day.
Love, per usual,
-Dov