Some on the board may have noticed my posts elsewhere and may have noticed how passionate they can get at times.

Aside from other issues around the fiery nature of those posts that have B"H been addressed, there is an issue that may not have been obvious.

Before I continue I will say this. Since I have started posting on these forums, beyond my initial post, unlike most others here, I have not posted at all about any day to day issues involving my break from addiction. That has been very deliberate.

Paranthetically the only thing I will say on that is that B"H thanks to this board I am not only 7 days clean but during that seven days I have had both very unusual and trying circumstances that ordinarily would have been impossible to overcome and at the same time multiple opportunities to be nichshal, as my accountability partner can testify (for example just yesterday I discovered the password to a lock on a workaround my filter and today I found that he had forgotten to lock two processes that could have been used to stop all monitoring of my PC) and thanks to the approach I was able to put in to practice here I have not been tempted at all. This is radically and totally different from prior intervals of sobriety. Hashem should give me the strength to keep it up one day at a time to 120.

But it has come at a cost. I have a very addictive personality and can for example get obsessed for hours upon hours looking for arcane facts be they in kodesh or lehavdil in chol. I can get obsessed with surfing the Internet. And yes, in this last seven days I have become totally addicted to these forums.

Fighting sexual addiction can only come as part of the greater war against the yetzer hora and when, like me you become overly addicted, even to something good like these forums, the yetzer hora has won.

That said my fight against my addiction to these forums begins here and now on this thread.

Unlike addiction to pornography to which abstinence is the only right answer -- fortunately with addiction to these forums moderation is the right answer. So whereas I could never and would never schedule chas vesholom an hour of pornography a day (especially since I am very capable of stopping entirely) I intend with Hashem's help to deliberately schedule from tomorrow on between 21:30 and 22:30 UTC/GMT daily for posting on these forums.

With that I am signing off BE"H in a few minutes and with Hashem's help I will be signing back here on this thread at 21:30 UTC/GMT tomorrow and signing off on this thread tomorrow at 22:30 UTC/GMT and so on with Hashem's help until 120 (Shabbos and Yom Tov obviously excluded).

If you too have at one time or other been addicted to these forums feel free to post right here.

Boruch,

  I am not sure what you mean here.

  Hashem has given us all of the varied middos, ahava, sina, even gaiva, and taiva....to all be used for the "right" purpose. For example. If someone has a streak of anger that could lead to bloodsheding,chaza'l say that  he should funnel it into a kosher outlet and become a shochet. If one has anger in him, he is not meant to illiminate it, he is meant to use it at the right time for example, when the maskilim come to be mivazeh Torah Leaders etc. If one has taiva, he is to use it for the right purpose. Let my taiva be to learn Torah and to do mitzvahs. AND, if one has an addictive type of personality, well, use that trait and become an addict for the Bais Midresh, or for some great Tzedakah organization. Become addicted to put your "ALL" into fulfilling Hashem's mitzvos.
  I would therefore say, that being an "addict" of this forum, and taking into account your previous addictions, you are doing pretty good. It is good for you to be here, and to feel drawn to be here and to stay here.
  What's my proof. I would doubt if your Y'H is very happy with the time you are spending here. If this is the case, then we have our answer.

Boruch, see my reply to your post over here - in the form of an "Announcement".

me wrote on 27 Jan 2009 06:56:


I have missed tefilla betzibbur, learning, eating, living and everything all around is suffering, family, finances, absolutely everything has seen it's toll being taken... Lo al haforums levado yichyeh ho'odom... Man cannot live on forums alone.

Anyway B"H today I only got on at 22:35 UTC/GMT and I have no time now so will come on for the balance of an hour later.

guardureyes wrote on 27 Jan 2009 11:18:


Good for you Guard, you are no good at all to us if you are overspent... novol tibol ... otherwise in the words of Yisro to Moshe Rabbenu you will wear yourself down...

boruch wrote on 27 Jan 2009 22:46:


Scary, it is now 23:00 UTC/GMT and I am leaving after what was supposed to be 5 minutes and 25 minutes later the time has gone nowhere... credit of 35 minutes for today... this is going to be tough...

OK, honesty is important... I overstayed today, and did not come here first.

So, we need to do better another day.

This is not easy. It feels like have been here an hour and I didn't post here first. Plus, I had been aiming to do a half hour when logging on to my computer and half hour when logging off. So, Rome was not built in a day, nor was it defeated in a day. So, with Hashem's help we stick with the goals and keep trying. Posting a hello on my WOH and then signing off.

The real goal here is my posts on the WOH which, meantime are not happening, in what seems like the very meager time available. With Hashem's help they will resume bekorov.

I must have been here for 2 hours or more. It's good and important but I cannot allow it to swallow up what's left of my life or I will have to stop entirely. So, until tomorrow at BE"H approximately 15:00 UTC/GMT...

Thank you to all...

OK, signing on, with a lot tp post about and very little time... I joined a 12 steps program and have much to say about it... I will be keeping BE"H parallel logs in the WOH