I just wanted to solicit some feedback from the board regarding an incident that happened this past weekend.

You can read full details of the incident here in my journal, but here is the short of end it.

I was in a position this weekend where I was ready to act out and attempted to circumvent my filter.  I caught myself eventually, stopped and called my accountability partner.

Should I view this incident as a success or a failure?

On the one hand, I did not act out, but on the other I was actively trying to and would have acted out if not for the filtering/monitoring I had put in place.

Your feedback is appreciated ...

a success!! ok, at the top, top levels, maybe not. but one step at a time...be patient.and then you'll get to the level of not even THINKING of sinning.

Thanks for the reply Jack ... it can be disheartening knowing that I was about to be nichshul.  I almost feel like a failure without having failed (if that makes sense).

As you commentated to my journal thread, the call to my accountability partner was certainly a success.

  The above says it all. You did not sin. You stopped in the middle, (which is considered of even a higher madreiga,) like we learn form Yosef Hatzadik, who stopped in the middle, and we all know what his reward was. And, then you went to use one of your gedarim, i.e. your accountability partner.
  what could have been a failure, (if you had continued),  was in the end turned into a big avodah.

For the Y'H to have incited you to go to such great efforts to circumvent the filter and then get no return on the "investment" is indeed a great victory.  This near fall may well turn out to be far more devastating to the Y"H than any day you got through easily.

The way I see it, there were two parts to it. The second part was of course a smashing success on the level of Yoseph Hatzadik -as "me" pointed out. The first part was a personal message from Hashem -a sort of love letter- telling you that it's time to strengthen your defences. If you get the message, then that's also cause for celebration!

battleworn,

Wise words indeed.  I will bezras Hashem try and take them to heart.

I really feel grateful to Hashem for having prevented me from being nichshul.

I realize that I need to strengthen myself.

Today is week 3 .... 21 days!!!

ad meah v'esrim ... im yirtza Hashem .... not just me, but everyone here as well.

What a question? Who can consider this a failure.
It is a massive success, to see that you can jam the breaks in such circumstances.

Of course we should not take for granted that this will constantly be the ending result
We have to distant ourselves from the trap, not be ambushed again.

success! there is not doubt about it. this may have been mentioned already but the yetzer hara's biggest trick is to get us depressed about what we do so that we fall and continue to fall (even if we did the right thing!) you DID do the right thing and were able to control yourself. so you struggled with the yetzer hara a bit...welcome to the club

chazak ubaruch!!!!!!!
keep fighting!
keep going!