my wife and i are iy'h a day or 2 from the due date...to have a baby girl
my father wants us to name it after his mother..my wife will not hear of it.
its a nice name. esther. i think there is something deeper that is bothering my
wife about naming after my paternal grandmother..i'm not sure what
for shalom bayis purposes do we just pick a name my wife likes?
any ideas!!
also why does my struggle seem harder at this time in my life i.e. about to have a baby

THE YH TRIES TO "MISH ARYN" BISHAAS A SIMCHA

BSHAAA TOVA UMITZLACHAS!

mazal tov...youre doing a smart thing about not fighting over names...the way we do it is that we alternate for each child with me starting and then my wife...the other side has a full veto on any name...we use common sense, we compromise, we land on names we both love...

in terms of this being harder now, there are many reasons, including stress, being outside your routine, and a six week black hole of no sex....

She's carrying it for 9 months, and then going through a marathon to have it. Not a pleasant marathon either.

R' Pam has a very long piece in his sefer about how common it is to miss the boat at times like this.

A healthy baby is nothing short of a MIRACLE. So what if it happens every day. It is a stupendous event.

MAZEL TOV!

kutan said it.

wife is king and queen and prince and princess, so whatever she wants,-it is

but here was one strange situation

husband and wife on the same page

but relatives on both sides driving them crazy.

husband and wife can work it out peacefully

but they are told they cannot.or you can- but I'll be very upset at you etc etc etc,or I'm not telling you what to do but but but but but.....

but again - wife is first

mazal tov -may child,mother,and father be healthy and happy and well

MARK YOU BETTER INVITE US TO THE KIDDUSH

NO MATTER IF ZAIDEY IS HAPPY OR NOT!!!

b'sha'a tova!!

Just don't name her Harriette... it produces bad vibes here.

unless the Mrs. REALLY wants to.

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 15 Oct 2009 20:58:


At times like this, Id pass the buck!
"Ask the Rabbi" his opinion, and then just tell the family "the Rabbi said"

Keep in mind that the woman is given a special bina in naming her child. I know plenty of stories where a name was decided before the birth, and afterwards, the mother 'realized'; "wrong baby; this child is no Harriette as we had planned, she a definite Henrietta instead!"

B'shaa tova mother and daughter should be well and healthy, and everything should go smoothly and easily.

B'Shaah Tova!

I have found that the period of abstinence after my wife gave birth was not all that difficult when I was very careful what I looked at. 

6 weeks  :o
shver

Uri wrote on 15 Oct 2009 21:59:


If youre lucky.
Ah, but baby Uri's, what could be cuter!
(And grandkiddy whipper-snappers for mom!)

Kedusha wrote on 15 Oct 2009 21:57:


Compare it to sitting on a chair.  Not hard to do.  But if the chair is covered with thumbtacks, that makes it very difficult.  It's the same with this Nisayon.  When we look where we shouldn't, it's like covering our chair with thumbtacks.

7Up wrote on 15 Oct 2009 21:50:


Rabbi Tweski who is the "Zeyda" of this site has written allot about the topic of naming babies, His father told his children not to name anyone for him so he would not be a source of machlokis. As a wise man.

We have this problem alot when it comes to baby naming.

Basically, there's a name we're expected to use, but NEITHER of us likes it [or we have some issues with the original title holder, like they were a mechalel Shabbos].

So, we give two names.  The first name we like (and use), and the second one to keep the peace.

Reminded me on an unrelated name joke

about Jack Lipschits:  He didn't like his name...

                                                          ...so he changed it to John.