G-d is either unable, unwilling or uninterested in helping me with my struggle with GuardingMyEyes. I am being to wonder why I've dedicated my life to HaShem who has made it clear that He is doesn't want anything to do with my plight.

So I want to revenge for His abandonment of me. HaShem doesn't NEED anything from us but He does WANT things from us. Please give me ideas on what mitzvah's to drop (maybe cutting my beard) not just to get G-d's attention but get Him to actually HEAL ME!!! If HE wants my mitzvah's or my teffillah than I want HEALING! Either I get healed or He doesn't get what He wants from me.

I don't want to hear things like G-d really loves me…He doesn't…besides I don't need His love and need His Healing! If it doesn't happen soon, either He doesn't exist or He just doesn't care.

a gut voch i hope your feeling better be"h,

first of all you didn't dedicate your life to hashem its hashems from the get go,

second of all if we would understand hashems ways we could run the world, its beyond us, like the kadmonim write אילו ידעתיו הייתיו which means if i knew him i would be him ,

so relax there will be a time when we will be able to understand like hashem told moshe in miztrayim אתה תראה you will see, moshe had the same question you have why would hashem do this if he really cares but hashem says wait around youll understand at a later stage,

i think you too know what i'm saying but you felt really lost when you wrote the post,

so for know remember that every bit you do counts and will all add up, (hashem really loves you, you asked for this one),

kol tuv and KOMT!!!!

If you're gonna pick a fight, pick someone your own size.

Hatzlacha - may you see the light...

MT

I second what 9494 said. We don't know what you've tried so it's hard to suggest anything.

Can you tell us what happened. Did you just fall? What were the steps leading up to it? Did you start masturbating/watching porn, try to stop in the middle and found that you couldn't?

Without G-d I can't. Without me G-d won't.

You want G-d to take away this struggle so you wouldn't need Him on a day-to-day basis any more. Should that happen you'd probably start to get confused between which one was you and which one was G-d. Sounds like you're not entirely sure already. Who tells who what to do, the Master or the servant?

In any case, have you considered joining SA and working the steps?