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"Shir HaYaridos"
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: "Shir HaYaridos" 926 Views

"Shir HaYaridos" 25 Jan 2009 12:10 #2294

  • me
אבינו שבשמיים. אב הרחמים. רחם עלינו

Aba. Master of the Universe. You have given us...your children, a yetzer harah, so that we may fulfill your mitzvos and thereby come close to you. You our father want us to come close to you. We, your children need to come close you .
  Aba, you have already given to the Y"H the ability to put tumah into our hearts, so that we will have the need to choose kedushah, and thereby come closer to you. We are therefore obligated, and responsible for the choices that we make. It is this "free choice" that makes us responsible for our actions, and brings us closer to you.

  But, Ribbono Shel Olam. The menuval, the Y"H has been given the fantasy of his life. As if he did not have enough arsenol to pull your children away from their father in heaven. As if he didn't already have enough capabilities to completely confuse our minds and hearts. We have  seen in chaza"l that the menuval has been more than over equiped with torpedoes, and numerous assorted booby traps that chaza"l have said, "no one can understand that extent of the menuvals koach....except for the one who created him."

  But, now Tatti, we are in the lowest of the low, the darkest recesses of darkness. As everyone agrees, today we are in Hester B'toch Hester.

And it is in this darkness, that the y"h at his strength has been given the gift of his existence. His fantasy has been fulfilled.  When we, your hurting children are literally trying to hang on by our worn away finger nails, the menuval has been given nuclear arsenal. Yes, he has been given the secret for nuclear warfare.
Once he was only enriching uranium. But, now he has been devasting us with all of his nuclear arsenol.......the internet. Who could have possibly thought there would ever be such a devasting K'eli given over to the Y"H. 
  Would Chaz'al ever,ever have believed that there would be such a thing called the internet with the unlimited availabiliy to the most outrageous, destructive tumah. Would the Avos ever have believed  that their children would receive  a Torah with mitzvos commanding us in the strongest loshon to be shomer from Arios, the most deadliest of all aveiros, and then that their children would faced with the same menuval armed with internet. A "safe place" where Hashem's children literally have at their finger tips,the availability 24hrs a day,  to  meet other's, and completely fulfill, with no sweat, every single issur in the Torah. No need to even get dressed and go out of the house. Would Moshe Rabbeinu ever have thought that You, master of the universe would give the menuval such an unbelievably destructive armament. An explosive so deadly, that it is implanted into every one of our homes. An explosive that works so fast, we almost don't even have time to do introspection and ask, "do I really want to do this".
  The most deadly of all bombs, (I think the goyim have today what is called the "dirty bomb"),  and their dirty bomb in comparison to this gift that you gave to the menuval is a joke.
  Tatti, the Y"H has been given the arsenol of his dream, and we your children have not been given the keilim that we need to counter it. Please have mercy. T'Rachem Aleinu.

I wish to suggest Tatti, that Moshe Rabbeinu, if he would have known after he brought down to us your Torah M'Sinai, if when he taught to us the halachos concerning arios. If he would have had the nevuah to see what his children would have been faced with, OY, what teffilahs would he have screamed out to you. But, now, we are all alone.
 
I wish to suggest Tatti, that today, we no longer have bechirah.Yes, the bechirah has been taken away from us. Our parnassah has been taken away from us. The world is falling financially. People are losing their paranassah. G'virim who were once rich.....overnight are losing every thing. The g'virim who helped the ani'im. Now we are so poor. Spiritualy, financially we are broken. Yet, the menuval is stronger than ever.

Aba, It says in chaza'l that you too must listen to the bais din shel matah. What the bais din shel matah decides, it must be accepted by the bais din shel malah.

Please all of the great warriors here at this forum who know what I am talking about. We certainly have at least enough frum, broken yidden who can comprise a beis din shel matah.

Let us decide that yes, we shall continue to fight against NUCLEAR ARSENOL with our finger nails....this is all that we have left, but let us decide that we no longer have bechirah against this nuclear warfare that was given over to our most dangerous enemy. We no longer have bechirah, and we are therefore no longer totally responsible for our actions.

PLease, the Beis Din Shel Matah of this Forum, please apply your shtemples below. We are now in a state where are Bechirah has been remove from us.
 
Last Edit: by Enjoy Yiddishkeit.

Re: "Shir HaYaridos" 25 Jan 2009 15:37 #2311

  • the.guard
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NO NO NO NO. I am crying now as I type. Your pain has effected me to my core, from your first e-mail to me today, and now again on the forum. But NO, I do not agree with you that we have lost our Bechirah. If someone was about to kill you, you would kill him first! There are drastic measures we can still take. If we see no way out, if we have given up all hope, we can still take the computer and throw it out the window! We can make a Shavuah in the name of Hashem for one whole year, that if we act upon our fantasies we will leave our family and go up north to the Kever of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai and not leave the vicinity of the Kever for two full days! These are just examples. As soon as you are truly at rock bottom, as soon as you are at TOTAL LOSS of any Eitza anymore - you will find you are ready to try these type of drastic measures, and suddenly you will see that the Yetzer hara was only a "string" and not the "mountain" that you thought he was. We can be free! We can do it!

Every generation has its Yetzer Hara. Chaza"l say that the Yetzer hara for Avodah Zara was once irrisistable. Now we have this. Read the many recovery stories on our site, look at JACK who suffers from so many problems, self esteem, depression, abusive parents, etc... and yet with sheer will power he is four months clean. Look at Gettinghelp - look at beHoly, look at ano-nymous!! It is possible!

And in the same way we have to "Let Go and Let G-d" with the addiction, we also have to apply this Hashkafa with parnassa as well. Tell Hashem, it is not my job to be mefarnes my family. It is only my job to do some Hishtadlus. It is YOUR job Tatte, to provide for every living thing. Let him worry about it. Clear your mind from all worries in life. Let Hashem worry. Let go and let G-d. Throw everything on him. Instead of turning to the addiction, turn to the tehhilim, turn to Hashem. Pour out your weary, downtrodden heart to him. There is nothing as whole in all the world as your heart is now. Harofeh lishvurei lev umechbesh le'atzvosam.
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: 25 Jan 2009 15:58 by tkhhpv.

Re: "Shir HaYaridos" 25 Jan 2009 16:40 #2326

  • Mevakesh Hashem
wow. Powerful!!!! But, I have to agree with GUARD. WE CAN ALL WIN THIS FIGHT! IT'S UP TO US NO MATTER HOW HARD IT IS, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES, NO MATTER THE OBSTACLES IN OUR WAY! AIN DAVAR OMED LIFNEI HARATZON!

Chazak V'Ematz!
Last Edit: by R. yid.

Re: "Shir HaYaridos" 26 Jan 2009 16:36 #2397

  • battleworn
Precious Me, I cried when I read your post, yesterday; I feel your feelings. But when I got to the part about bechira, I felt confused. I knew something was wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on it. (I'm suffering horrific emotional pain these days and I have trouble thinking clearly) Then on my way home it suddenly hit me. 

WHO CARES IF YOU HAVE BECHIRA OR NOT! THE MENUVAL WANTS YOUR BLOOD, HE WANTS TO SEE YOU DEAD!

AND THIS DANGER IS SO MUCH MORE  SERIOUS, THAN PHYSICAL DANGER! HE WANTS TO DESTROY YOUR ETERNITY!

IT'S SUPER PIKUACH NEFESH! SCREAM! TAKE ACTION!

THERE'S NO WAY IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN LET THIS HAPPEN TO YOU!

But remember: An addiction is a destructive behavior pattern; Worry, depression and the like, are destructive thought patterns. These patterns get deeply ingrained and can't be changed overnight. You need a strategy - a game plan. With perseverance - and only with perseverance - you can change the way you think and the way you act/react. Once you succeed, you will become a much higher quality person, and then you'll understand (at-least partially) why Hashem put you through this.

I love you sincerely, I feel your pain and always remember, Hashem loves you way way more than you can possibly imagine!!!

                                                            CHAZAK VEEMATZ!!!
Last Edit: 28 Jan 2009 12:33 by .
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