Hi,
I am reading lessons from the site http://www.recoverynation.com/recovery/recovery_workshop.htm (hat tip: Yaakov). There is interesting information here and some exercises. One exercise is to imagine how you'd like to live, and write it down. The next exercise is to extract the values from this lifestyle, and make a list.

My list of values is:
- Having self-control
- Having self-respect
- Having self-confidence
- Liking myself
- Being happy
- Being a servant of HaShem
- Feel close to HaShem
- Being a good husband (more communicative and patient)
- Being a good father (more communicative and patient)

What are your values? How do they compare with mine? Please feel free to write your list of values or comment on mine on this thread.

After you make the list, you are supposed to go through the list and write for each item what you can do practically to strengthen each value. Like, to be a better husband I will spend time some with my wife each day and really listen to her.

Anyway, I was thinking how these values fit with my addiction. After some thought, this is what I came up with. It's a bit simplified, but I think it's worth thinking about.
Scenario 1:
1. There is a G-d.
2. I need to make a decision. (we make thousands of decisions each day.) Don't pause, just react to my emotional needs without thinking how it compares with my values.
3. If I serve myself, at first I'll feel immediate gratification, but then I will hate myself, I'll lose self-respect, get depressed, get angry with self and let it out against others, lose self-confidence.
4. As a result, I'll feel more distant from HaShem. It will be hard to doven to Him or feel His "hugs".

or
Scenario 2
1. There is a G-d.
2. I need to make a decision. (we make thousands of decisions each day.) Pause: Am I going to do my will and serve myself or HaShem's will and serve Him?
3. If I serve HaShem, at first it will be hard (maybe even painful), but then I will like myself, I'll gain self-respect and self-confidence. I'll be happy.
4. As a result, I'll feel close to HaShem, it will be easier to doven, to feel his "hugs".
MISSION OF LIVING UP TO MY VALUES ACCOMPLISHED!!!

Your thoughts?

Brilliant.

Im heading over to this site right now. I like the idea of practical, down to earth steps. Kol Hakavod Momo, kol hakavod Yaakov.


*****

...Okay, took a quick look and loved what I saw. Seems really action based on realistic steps and insight. I hope to check it out in depth later if R' Yaakov says its good, thats all I need to hear). Please keep sharing with us Momo, I think many people here will gain tremendously.

good stuff, momo!

This is a man who never gives up and keeps growing!

Did you see, Momo, how you inspired MosheF recently? Check out what he writes about your thread on Group #3 in the accountability groups!