I have been very fortunate to be clean since finding the site around rosh chodesh elul. I have a very personal and private question which I would like to pose to this very special community.

For those of you who are married and  have had clean periods I was hoping you could share the impact that a significant  clean period had on  the intamacy you shared with your spouse.

While I am unable to say if married people have it harder to remain clean than single people, I have found myself more distant and less likely to initiate intimacy during this clean stretch.

I apologize if this question is inappropriate.
SC

It makes sense, since often our intimacy was based on lust all these years, so as we distance ourselves from lust, we are less likely to initiate relations... But if we can build relations into what they are meant to be; a time for "giving" and emotional closeness with someone we love, then we will find great pleasure in it again, albeit a very different type than what we were used to... However, this takes time and effort, but it's well worth it. Perhaps there are books that people here can suggest to this effect, such as "The Garden of Peace" by Rav Arush... Anyone?

My experience is that, intimacy is much more fulfilling (emotionally and spiritually) when the husband saves his eyes for his wife.

I am not married.
But I am reading this book "First Day of the Rest of My Life" which was written by an expert in this field.
The story is about this Rosh Yeshiva who is recovering from a serious lust addiction.
At one point,a year after his recoveryhe tries to initiate intimacy with his wife.
He finds himself unable to perform.
He knows that if he just thinks of some pornographic image,he will be fine.
But for how long can he continue this stupid cycle?!!
So he just snuggles with his wife and takes comfort in the fact that one day soon when his lust is gone and he learns how to have real intimacy with real love,he will be able to be with his wife no problem.
It is a transition and I'm sure it is very frightening and anxiety-causing.
And I'm no one to speak.
So I don't know why I'm even posting here.