Again, I am not trying to knock the taphsic method, I think that inastruggle and I are inagreement
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that the taphsic method is kind of a "last resort" if you already are on the verge of acting out to stop yourself. But you do need other strategies to make sure that you don't get to that point. I think you understand this already.
You are certainly welcome to try the blow it up method, some people seem to do well with it. You can also surrender your lust to Hashem when a thought comes into your head. You can read about that
Another method for dealing with triggering sights that you
might will encounter on the street is the three second rule. There was a chizuk email dated 5/21/13 that talks about this.
Tip of the Day
The Three Second Rule
Posted by "Kedusha"
As you may know, addiction therapist Michelle Rappaport was a guest on Elya's conference
call. I would like to share one important point that was mentioned that really
seems to help me:
The "Three-Second Rule:" If you see something inappropriate, implement the "three-second
rule." Doing so involves three steps: alert, avert, and affirm. The first step is
to realize that you're seeing something inappropriate. That's the "alert" stage,
and it may take a second or two. The second step is to close your eyes or look
away. That's the "avert" stage. These two steps should take place within [about]
three seconds. The third step is to give yourself a mental "pat on the back" thinking
something like, "I saw that by mistake, and I quickly looked away. I'm still clean
and, b'Ezras Hashem, I'm going to build on that, one day at a time." That's the
"affirm" stage.
Adhering to the three-second rule appears to be fully consistent with what the Halacha
requires, and will also prevent any "slips" within rule #8 of the GYE Wall of Honor
Rules [http://guardyoureyes.org/woh/WOHRules.php]. This is crucial, because as addicts,
it's often the first slip that does us in ("just as an alcoholic needs to avoid
that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip").
This "rule" has got to make it into the next edition of the GYE Handbook [http://www.guardureyes.com/GUE/PDFs/eBooks/GuardYourEyes%20Handbook.pdf].
I've been on a high since I heard it.
Many times, people on the forum say things like, "I looked away, but maybe I waited
a drop longer than I had to". Then the Yetzer Hara makes this poor soul feel guilty,
when he's done nothing wrong at all, and that can lead to slips and falls, c"v.
The "three-second rule" recognizes that it may take a second or two to realize that
something is amiss, and only then are you expected to look away.
שוב ראיתי, והנה באמת, הכלל של ג' השניות מקרא מלא הוא בהאנדבוק ד-ג.י.א.,
עיין שם
You said that you will not be able to stay in touch with us on the forum while you are away in Yeshiva.
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We will miss you. However, it is still good to have a safe person who understandss what you are going through and will not judge you for it, but will be there for you to listen to your stuggles and help you along. This could be a rebbe or a good friend.
Hatzlacha!