Hi
I have been BH sane just for today, one hour at a time for almost 3 months. The last few days have been hard for me. I know that all HKB'H allows to happen to me is for me. Yet, it feels difficult to feel so alone.
I guess what I am saying is that many people who I thought cared ;from their behavior over time now shows much different than their words. I try to not personalized their inventory, yet I do not want to act out over this compounded hurt and feeling that have accumulated . I live in a community where finding genuine chevra is very hard and even before and after minyan everyone is there and goes. It is apparent to me that money, kavod and lowering one's ethics are the currency of my community.
I am reaching out to allow HKB'H to send me the message I need to "hear". I do NOT want to back into the insanity of my disease, just to escape this pain.

I will keep coming back as I know the pain of growth is greater than the momentary pleasure of self suicide through acting out !

Kol Tuv

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

I am here. You may not know me, but you can. I will be your friend and try to help. We can get clean together.

GYE is here. There are plenty of people, stories, Torah and tips here for anyone.

Hashem is everywhere. When you cry, He cries with you. When you fight, He fights for you. When you pray, he listens to you.

i know how you feel about being hurt sometimes and wanting to make it feel better through acting out or any other way really.

There is no point.It doesn't solve anything, plus it's only temporary.Plus of course it'll only hurt if we try to help it by acting out.

The real way to solve it (after being dan l'kaf zechus of course) is to hang out with people that do make you feel good and a good place to start might be here.


We have to realize that people don't change who we are and if someone hurts us just move on and don't give him a second glance.

Of course this is easier said than done, but so are a lot of things worth doing.

Hatzlacha