Just wanted to introduce myself.

I've been married for 7 years.  I've been struggling with looking at porn for a long time.  I was a bt and when I was growing up there was no particular stigma attached.  Since becoming frum, I've struggled with stopping, and thought I had it beat.  Apprently not, and I've relapsed a couple of times in the past few years.

This is something I need to beat for my sake and for my family's sake, and b'ezras Hashem, I am determined to do so.  I'm hoping that the chizuk I will find on these boards will aid me in this.

Hope that everyone fasted well and is full of inspiration for the year ahead!

Dear HW,

It is an honor to be the first to welcome you to our beautiful family of warriors.
The struggle changes tremendously once you enter the world of group support.
There are many married guys here struggling with the same thing you are.
And there are baalei teshuva too.
They are all on various steps of recovery.
You have taken the first and biggest step.
You have asked for help.
I love your determination.
And I love your sincerity.
It is only uphill from here,my dear friend!
Glad to have you on board.


-uri

Dear Help Wanted,

A royal welcome!  If you want help, you've come to the right place.

I'm sure you know about the "one day at a time" rule.  In addition, staying clean until Sukkos is an extremely important short-term goal.  Once you've done that, you can enjoy the Simchas Yom Tov on a completely different level, and you can build on your success after Yom Tov as well.

hey hw, welcome aboard...in my first post i reflected on the fact that i cannot imagine 30 days of being clean...my thirdieth day fell on yom kippur...in fact i couldnt believe what a yom kippur i had...soon enough and you too will be replacing "i cant imagine being good" with "i never imagined life can be this good"...good luck, bro...

Warmest welcome dearest Tzadik,

We are all "BT's" here

The seforim write that one should do a mitzvah right away after yom kippur. I can't thing of anything greater,  in the spirit of preserving the holiness and purity of YK, then joining this holy forum
The mere fact that you signed up and immediately  posted your first post right after YK shows that  you mean "business"!


All the love in the world to a fellow warrior,

Noorah

WELCOME!
what a super way to start off the year!
much hatzlacha!

letakain21

Thanks chevra.  That makes me feel better about not starting my sukkah yet!

Welcome HW,

Dont worry about the Sukka; Uri will be happy to put it up for you!

Dear H.W (Help wanted)

Let's change your name to HelpIsHere  Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!

7Up wrote on 29 Sep 2009 09:08:

  :D

Dear HW,

WELCOME, WELCOME!

When you come on this forum, not only will you get help from the GYE community, but you help us as well by just being here. THANK YOU FOR JOINING US!

Nishmas

hi holy hw

welcome to our forum this place is "only for bt's and bt wannabees"

resolve to to 90 days

try try try

post away it works

read as much as you can

bardichev (a ffb bt)

Rebbi Bardichev,

"a ffb bt" - I love that. 

B'makom SheBaalai Teshuva Omdim (what's the rest of the lashon?)

Nishmas

HW

Let me extend my humble welcome to you.

Beeing a fighter before, I am sure your presence will enhance our little boat.

Please share with us your knowledge and experience, which will be greatly appreciated by us.

As our wise tell us "הרי זה בא ללמוד ונמצא מלמד" (not exacly but that's the point here).

With all our love

G

Since R' Bardichev is not stingy on me copying his lines, I too am a FFB BTwannabe.

Welcome, HW!
HW= Heilige Warrior

kutan