I was having a rough time specifically before Rosh Hashanah, and now again in the middle of the ten days of repentance.  I was thinking "this is awful, I wish Hashem would have judged me a week ago instead of "ASHER HU SHAM" [where he is now].

But then, doesn't Hashem go after the majority of one's actions, and not just the last moment?

So, this seemed a contradiction.

Then, I realized something that was very helpful.

What matters in the last moment is you're mind set.  Are you still trying to recover!  Are you still hoping to recover!  Even though you had a fall, you're still heading in the right direction.

The ASHER HU SHAM that would be bad is, if someone would give up.  But as long as you haven't given up, although you had a fall, I think Hashem will judge you favorably.

Eye.nonymous wrote on 25 Sep 2009 08:26:

i like your post very much except for this one thing.
where do we get this idea from?
its not just you.
many of us think this.
way way off.
its not a scale of....
2 pornos versus 2 shacharises
not at all!!!!

It says that "Ratza Hakadosh Boruch Lezakos Es Yisrael.....Hashem desired to give Klal Yisrael merit.Therefore He gave them alot of Torah and Mitzvos"
The Maharal asks:How does that make any sense?!
If you want someone to have merit,give them one or two jobs that are really easy.
Since there are so many mitzvos,we are certain to sin much more,no??

The Maharal says a beautiful yesod that answers the question perfectly....

A person does not know how much one mitzva is worth.
He could be sinning all day.
But it's all worth it for that one mitzvah.
We can't even fathom the power of just one mitzvah!!!
And some mitzvos are so so very hard!!!
It's so hard to be clean!!!
Think of the korban that is to Hashem
And you think that's equaled by one bad thought?!!
There is no way!
That thought came impulsively,naturally.
But that resistance and struggle was a battle of the ages!
How can you compare!!

Gmar chasima tova
-uri

Uri, I'm jst rendered speechless by ur posts. They're awesome  8)
How do you always find the right thing to say?

Hint:constant contact with Mom.
pretty much everything i say is me being a channel for her wisdom.
I am pi haason

wow. speechless is right.
i never think like that.
in fact, when i started reading i was like oh no.
you mean that all my bad thoughts for sure outweigh my chessed.
and then you pop out with-being clean is our BIG mitzvah that outweighs all our aveiros!

I'm with Uri, not that he (or Mom) need kutan's haskama.

We simply do not know where we stand in ruchniyus, since we have no way of knowing how much of our mitzvos and other other stuff is from our God given techunos, and how much came from our bechira.
So we need to forget about it (NY version, please Mr. B.) and just do our job and leave the cheshbonos up to Hashem (Dov = REBBE-REB-BER, I'm sure you will agree)

This is not feel-good talk. It is truth.

Rav Pam would agree.
I know because he told it to me.

k

I miss Rav Pam ztl

I could use his advice on things

"But then, doesn't Hashem go after the majority of one's actions, and not just the last moment?"

I am going to have to agree and disagree...lets look at the source for the prohibition against bating...its is an inference of an inference from a story (of tamar)...no lav, no karet, no mitta...its, quite frankly, not very strong...and the women on this forum, i am still not entirely sure what you are fighting against...when it comes down to it, the sin isnt the biggest problem here...a big reason, i think, that otherwise observant people fall in this regard is because we compare it to the other sins and quite frankly, its doesnt size up...

What i have found, though, is that falling in this sin undermines everything else that Judaism stands for...failing to guard your eyes and being a lustful person does not allow you to be any sort of jew so correcting this behavior its not about the sin per se, it is about being a non-lustful person and therefore being able to be jewish...

so dont rack up the sins versus the good deeds..the good deeds outweigh the sins...heck i dont even think this sin weighs all that much...but we can never ever lust (and for us addicts that means no slips no falls no temptations) because if you do you will be tipping over all the baskets...

Is this the Rage I knew?!

You really have 2 Personalities & I love them both.

RATM,

The main source of the prohibition of Zera l'vatalah is not the incident of Er and Onan, but a Drasha from the Pasuk "Lo Tin'af."  Chazal say that the punishment is Misa biy'dei Shamayim, although the Igros Moshe (Orach Chaim 4:116) holds that this is not literal.  Most Poskim (including the Igros Moshe) hold that it is an Isur d'Oraysah.

Although women face a very different test than men, it's possible to understand it somewhat.  Imagine a man has spent hours looking at pornography, and then has relations with his wife.  He may have avoided the strict prohibition of Zera l'vatalah, but he still feels like total trash.

"Lo Tin'af." Rashi: En Niuf Ela Beshet Ish.

I am not disagreeing, i just need a source, please.

Kedusha wrote on 25 Sep 2009 18:53:


I agree. The "weight" of the sin is not the real problem here. The real problem is the destruction you are causing to yourself as a Jew.

Rage AT Machine wrote on 25 Sep 2009 19:00:


The capital crime is with an Eishes Ish.  Chazal make a Drasha to include masturbation.  I believe the source is Nidah 13a, but it may be elsewhere.

On 13a a discussion:
דא"ר יוחנן כל המוציא שכבת זרע לבטלה חייב מיתה שנאמר (בראשית לח) וירע בעיני ה' <את> אשר עשה וימת גם אותו רבי יצחק ורבי אמי אמרי כאילו שופך דמים שנאמר (ישעיהו נז) הנחמים באלים תחת כל עץ רענן שוחטי הילדים בנחלים תחת סעיפי הסלעים אל תקרי שוחטי אלא סוחטי רב אסי אמר כאילו עובד <עבודת כוכבים> {עבודה זרה} כתיב הכא תחת כל עץ רענן וכתיב התם (דברים יב) על ההרים הרמים ותחת כל עץ רענן

then on 13b:

תנא דבי רבי ישמעאל (שמות כ) לא תנאף לא תהא בך ניאוף בין ביד בין ברגל

Of course i dont chas veshalom think any sin is light (see, pirkei avot) and yes, most poskim find it a deorayta (like a woman covering her hair. the scriptual source: very very weak - from sota, i believe) but the very fact that we need to dig around for it like this tells you that the sin aspect, at least for me, is not the most important reason to quit...