I need to share this win. Granted, there was a picture of pritzus that I saw, actually accidentally, maybe poshia, but I beat him. I found various technical holes on my phone. somewhat complicated, programming errors that allow open access to EVERYTHING, that only a freak like I would find. I trashed all programs that contain such holes. apprantly I missed some- last night I got this urge to find a hole, and not cave. that is not the type of urge that I should be listening to, particularly when feeling empty like often triggers a fall. but alas, I did. I found what looked like one, but it was really just access to bad stuff, not really bad stuff. as I said, there was one tangental picture I wasnt looking for, and if I dont want it, I dont enjoy it. couldnt get that open access. stopped trying. rejected the yetzer's suggestion to look up that area on that particularly site (sparing all details) that I had fallen before. win 1. but he didnt go away. I tried something else. success. open access to the entirety of the internet, literally in the palm of my hand. now, there is a parental block from getting new programs, but within already installed ones this issue has no boundaries. I could literally do whatever I wanted. I was alone, open access, and tempted. I shook. I really didnt want to deal with a fall, nor fall in general. I pressed the home button. i went to settings and deleted the program. the hole vanished into thin air. as far as I am aware, not chance of falling. win for the yetzer tov. finally. please, no ayin hara-I cant take another fall. but I wanted to share something positive.
also keeping a gratitude journal. still confused and not always easy, but Baruch Hashem, getting better. I just need to work on really acknowledging Him in the wins...

I'm glad you came out on top - and congratulations on that - BUT you should not test yourself like that. It is VERY common for the yetzer harah to trick one into falling by saying, "You've been really good for a long time. You don't even have the taivah anymore, you completely beat it. Look, you can even find the holes on your phone and still be ok! Go ahead and prove it!"

We don't need to prove it and we shouldn't give those taunts/challenges any attention whatsoever. Our not taking the challenge is the proof.

ein hachi nomi. I'm not dumb enough to believe the yetzer that I'm strong enough. I believed him that I should test every app to make sure there were no holes . lmaasa, I need to not test the waters so closely...