One of the common themes that I have read on the community is the feelings of guilt that we all feel about the past. I would like to suggest that these guilty feelings are only worthwhile if one can transform these guilty thoughts into actions of teshuvah. Otherwise they only serve to push as farther from hashem and the correct way.
I also want to suggest that when we are overwhelmed with guilt we are being too tough on ourselves. For some of us the addiction took hold of our lives before we had the ability or maturity to beat the addiction. I like to believe that if we had known then what we know now none of us would have started down that slippery slope of looking and touching. The same way non of us would start smoking at the age of 35 due to the health risks none of us would have chosen to follow our hearts and eyes had we first been challenged as grown, mature adults.
I truly believe hashem has challenges us and is looking how we respond to the challenge. I don't think hashem will be angry at us after 120 because at a young and immature age we made mistakes. He will instead ask why didn't you change once you grew up.
SC
