Rabbosai,
I do not know how to get up. I thought after my fall last week that I could just simply start again but I can't. It is hard to imagine how on Monday I felt so good and strong and with one foul swoop the yetzer hora has knocked me off my perch. I went 32 days without giving in at all and then...........
It is strange, part of me thought before the fall, I am not addicted anymore. I won't fall. I am stronger now but alas!
I tried getting up adn starting fresh but I failed at that. This Shabbos i was struck with some chizzuk that we are entering the parsha of Shovavim. I do not exactly understand the intricacies but I recall that these are the weeks that are mesugal for doing Teshuva for aveiros in the area of Yesod. I am mispallel that I will be able to get back up as Chazal say Sheva Yipol, Koom!
I took upon myself that I will IY"H take on to be shomer myself especially carefully during the Yemai Shovavim and with a lot of Siyata Dishmaya I hope tp be able to finally conquer this.
P.Y.

1) Learn from this fall...implement the lessons. Build higher fences.

2) BE HAPPY! Look forward...don't look back! Hashem is testing you...so you know He LOVES you. With each fall, there is pain, embarrassment, shame, despair...such feelings are appropriate, but don't let them be used by the yh to keep you down.

3) Double your determination, resolve, and will to get back to 32 and BEYOND! Whatever you were doing before....DOUBLE IT!

4) BE HAPPY! Had to put it twice, since its so crucial. The yh wants you to be depressed...that way, you don't learn from your fall and don't get back up.

Remember this: "CAN'T" is what the yh is telling you! Its not the truth!

You can do it...the fact that you were honest is SO SO important. Keep it up!

Know that what ever you did in the past is never lost. Every time you say "no" is priceless.

But you have to understand, this struggle is not resolved through resolve alone. It is an insidious disease, like a spiritual cancer, and it takes a lot more than "resolve" to break free. You have to understand this and be willing to take more serious steps if you want to truly break free. Join the phone conference on Sundays, speak to Elya on the hot-line. Consider joining a 12-Step group in your area. Use the power of vows in a SMART and SAFE way. See this page and this page. See a trained sex addiction therapist, or at least join the Tuesday night phone group that has a trained therapist on the line. Etc... This is a battle for your soul. At the end of the day, it's going to be either you or him. Just like in Israel, the goverment learned from the failures in the Lebenon war three years ago, and today they are doing much better on all fronts. That's the way to fight. Learn from the past, fix the breaches and FINISH THE JOB.

We are here for you.

poshut yid...you are an inspiration to me!!!!!!

im am now on my 13th day. and all i want to do is give in...but i keep thinking if poshut yid can go for 32 days then so can i!

i have no clue who u are but your're a jew and im a jew....im going to do my best with hashems help and i hope u do to!!
if u cant hold out for yourself then hold out for me. i've been inspired by you to keep fighting.  good luck with the battle!!

wow...the love in here is unbelievable!

Look at me a shattered Neshoma.
Merely at day 11 I feel the constant urge to surrender.
But the memory, of the bitterness I suffer, after acting out.
Persuades me to CONTINUE THE BATTLE.
I would rather experience the bittersweet, than the bitterbitter.