I am totally beat. The Lust has been living inside of me since shabbos and just existing with it is completely draining.  It's kind of a morbid routine now.  He shows up with a fantasy in my head; I shake it off, move on. I keep praying that G-d doesn't present me with an opportunity to act out, all the while feeling in my guts an intense desire to do just that. That's also exhausting.

You know what I kind of feel like?  Anyone ever read the story of Sinbad? One of the journeys he makes takes him to an island where this decrepit, wrinkled old man immediately jumps on his shoulders, clamps his legs around Sinbad's neck, and refuses to let go. Sinbad can't get free; somehow the geezer's legs are too strong.  He starts trying to go about life with this guy on him, but the old guy steals the coconut when he tries to eat it, knocks the water out of his hands, etc. And Sinbad is just getting exhausted.  Pick up a fruit, knocks it out.  Pick up a fruit, knocks it out.  That's me.

(As I recall, Sinbad wins eventually by making some wine, which the old guy steals and drinks.  And he keeps making more until the guy gets drunk and Sinbad can peel him off.  Anyone want to try to bring that in to the metaphor?  I'm too tired to make it work somehow.

Smith

MR SMITH

YOU ARE FALLING INTO THE YHs CLASSIC TRAP

HE IS TELLING YOU

YOU ARE TOOO TIRED

AND WHATS TO BE GAINED BY FIGHTING

STAY HERE IN THE CORNER WITH ME THE YH

I WIILL  TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOU

I KNOW WHAT YOU NEED

I KNOW HOW TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

AND SAD ENOUGH TO WANT AND NEED ME TO GET HAPPY AGAIN

(THAT WAS A VERY DEEEEEEP THOUGHT -IF YOU READ IT QUICKLY READ IT AGAIN)


HELLO KNOCK KNOCK

THE YH IS A FRAUD HE IS A DECREPID OLD MAN

TURN ON THE LIGHT HE IS GONE

YOU ARE NOT TIRED YOU ARE

COOL AWAKE AND BATTLEREADY

STEP INTO THE BATTERS BOX

AND FIRE AWAY!!!!!

OH
BTW

HES GONE!!!!! (FOR NOW HE"LL BE BACK BUT THAT'S ANOTHER SHMOOZE)

bardichev

only you can come up with the courage and energy to knock off this guy grabbbing onto you, the question is; do you see yourself being without him.

just start dreaming ... dream about the hero who stands up to the toughest of challenges. it doesn't cost anything and is easy to do. act as if you can overcome your challenges.

let me know how it works...

Mr. Smith, you won't win if you keep struggling with it head on. You need to learn to let go of the lust and give over the fight to Hashem. The 12-Steps can help you learn how to do this. Just look at guys like Dov. He had a raging addiction to lust, and he's 11 years sober today. One day at a time. What's their secret??? If you want what he has, do what he does.

guardureyes wrote on 13 Sep 2009 22:24:


I really want to understand what this means. I totally don't get what it is I'm supposed to do to "give over" the fight.

Dov answered you already on this, no? And I put it into yesterday's Chizuk e-mail It's deep. Deep. Read it again another a few times. Bottom line is, we need to work the steps with those who have done it before us. Cheshboinos and Meforshim won't help. Dov can explain it to us from today till next year; but we need ACTION not words.

It sounds like I need a sponsor and some friends to go through this with. Yes?

Yes, and you can get that by joining either Boruch's or Duvid Chaim's phone groups, or finding an SA group in your area.