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New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help
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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 1620 Views

New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 09 Sep 2009 19:32 #16974

  • tryinghard84
As the subject reads, I am new to this forum. I have struggled with sexual addiction,in one form or another, for the last 12 years. I have seen therapists, and been found out by loved ones, but I have yet to break the destructive cycle. I heard about this site from a friend who researched similar sites,and he told me it might be effective. There is clearly a lot of material on this site; does anyone have any insight as to the best way to use this site in order to attempt to beat my addiction?

Thanks in advance,

Trying Hard, but not Succeeding
Last Edit: by jaybongo.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 09 Sep 2009 20:34 #17003

  • the.guard
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Dear TryingHard,

Welcome to our community! Once you've arrived, there's no turning back. Everyone here will just grab a hold of you and pull you up, up, up!

Scientific studies have shown that it takes 90 days to change a neural thought pattern that was ingrained in the brain through addictive behaviors. Did you join the 90 day chart on-line? Sign up over here...

We get cries for help every day, by e-mail and on the forum. Tzuras Rabim Chatzi Nechama    And that is why we created the GYE handbooks (links below). If you read them well, from beginning to end, slowly, and try to implement what you read, you will find the answers within them to enable you to completely turn your life around. You're worth it.

Also, join the daily Chizuk e-mail lists to get fresh chizuk every day, and post away on this forum. You will get tons of daily Chizuk and support. This disease can't be beat alone. It works best when you get out of isolation!

GuardYourEyes also offers various free anonymous phone conferences, where you can join a group of other frum Yidden, along with an experienced sponsor. See this page for four different options. Our conferences are taking place daily, throughout the week... This would be a tremendous step in the right direction for you and help you learn freedom from this addiction. Not only will you learn the secret of the 12-Steps - which is known to be the world's most powerful program for beating addiction having helped millions world wide, but joining the group will be another way of GETTING OUT OF ISOLATION and connecting with others who are going through what you are.

Let me tell you a little about the two GuardYourEyes handbooks. They lay down the cornerstone and foundation of our work, and they make our network much more effective and helpful for people.

You see, until now, people would often get "lost" when coming to our website, not knowing what tips and techniques to try. For example, a beginner wouldn't jump straight into therapy or 12-Step groups, while on the other hand, someone whose addiction was more advanced wouldn't be helped by the standard tips of "making fences" putting in "filters" etc... So it was essential to develop a handbook which details all the techniques and tools to dealing with this addiction in progressive order. Now with these handbooks, anyone can read through and see what steps they've tried already, and if those steps haven't worked, they can continue on through the handbook where the steps become progressively more powerful and "addiction-oriented".

And the second handbook, called the "Attitude" handbook, can also help anyone, no matter what level of addiction they may have. Often people write in to us saying that had they only known the proper outlook & attitude that we try and share on the GuardYourEyes network when they were younger, they would have never fallen into an addiction in the first place! So we hope that through this handbook, many addictions will be prevented.

The handbooks are PDF files, set up as eBooks, and they have bookmarks and hyper-links in the Index, to make them easy to navigate.

Make sure to read them, they contain a wealth of information on beating this addiction! And I'd love to hear your feedback on them...

Note: You might want to print them out to read away from the computer. Keep in mind though, that if you do this, you won't be able to click on the many web links in the articles. But you can always come back to them later. The truth is, it's anyway good to go through the whole handbook once without clicking on links, just to get an overview of all the tools available. Once you did that, you can start again from tool #1 and read each tool through more carefully, click the links and study each technique and assess whether you have tried it fully yet or not...

Right click on the links below and select "Save Link/Target As" to download the handbooks to your computer.

1) The GuardYourEyes Handbook
This Handbook details 18 suggested tools and techniques, in progressive order, beginning with the most basic and fundamental approaches to dealing with this addiction, and continuing down through increasingly earnest and powerful methods. For the first time, we can gauge our level of addiction and find the appropriate tools for our particular situation. And no matter what level our addiction may have advanced to, we will be able to find the right tools to break free in this handbook!

2) The GuardYourEyes Attitude
The Attitude Handbook details 30 basic principles to help us maintain the proper attitude and perspective on this struggle. Here are some examples: Understanding what we are up against, what it is that Hashem wants from us, how we can use this struggle for tremendous growth, how we can deal with bad thoughts, discovering how to redirect the power of our souls, understanding that every little bit counts, learning how to bounce back up after a fall, and so on and so forth...

May Hashem be with you!
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by jfcooper.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 09 Sep 2009 21:05 #17023

  • Eye.nonymous
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Welcome to the forum.
Last Edit: by moshke1514.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 10 Sep 2009 00:31 #17056

  • Noorah BAmram
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Warmest Shalom Aliechem and welcome to fellow warrior ,
Here is what worked for me:
1. Post
2. Post
3. Post
I used my thread as a journal where I posted my ups and downs, my struggles and frustration, my fear my anxiety or anything else that came to mind. I shared thoughts and ideas that inspired me. I shared insight's that encouraged me!  There is something therapeutic about posting on this holy forum!
You already took the first step!!!

With love and  respect I remain your friend always

Noorah from the House of Amram
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by misterh.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 10 Sep 2009 12:21 #17142

  • kutan
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Noorah BAmram wrote on 10 Sep 2009 00:31:

Warmest Shalom Aliechem and welcome to fellow warrior ,
Here is what worked for me:
1. Post
2. Post
3. Post



ditto here.

Its amazing. Brings out the hidden streaks of buried treasure inside. No facade, no 'image', no front, just the true you.

And no fears, no phobias, no inhibitions, no shame. Just the real you.

By the way, my name is Kutan. I'm the smallest of the group here. Its not so much me, but that there are so many Giants here. Pleased to meet you




(now, in real life i NEVER do that. My wife has been trying to teach me how for years. But I'm shy and self conscious. Just to prove the above.)
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by ZeidehGuido.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 10 Sep 2009 13:04 #17148

  • the.guard
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Its amazing. Brings out the hidden streaks of buried treasure inside. No facade, no 'image', no front, just the true you.


Well, it depends of course which font-size you use  :D
Webmaster of www.guardyoureyes.org - Maintaining Moral Purity in Today's World. We’re here on a quest ; it’s really all a test. Just do your best and G-d will do the rest.
Last Edit: by yiddish.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 10 Sep 2009 17:11 #17232

  • kutan
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Font size is VERY important.

A big tzadik (he's an anav too, so I keep the name under the wraps) told me once that a  bracha (for another yid)  works best if you type it in big font, bold letters, and (I think) blue color.

;D
k
Rashi, Breishis (10:25)
Last Edit: by notaffraid.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 13 Sep 2009 13:26 #17528

  • Noorah BAmram
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Tryinghard,
Thinking about u why don't you tell us how you are doing?
Love
Noorah
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by .

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 13 Sep 2009 15:04 #17550

  • Sturggle
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tryinghard,

welcome aboard.
you got some good advice from some good people.
looking forward to hearing more from you.

sturggle
Last Edit: by servant.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 13 Sep 2009 17:43 #17587

  • bardichev
SHALOM ALIECHEM

I AM ALMOST SIX MONTHS FREE

NOMAGIC

NO SECRET

SIMPLE

ONE STEP AT ATIME

POST AWAY

RESOLVE TO GO 90 DAYS

DONT BE SCARED TO SAY YOU SLIPPED

WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!!
bardichev
Last Edit: by Baisyaakov.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 14 Sep 2009 19:21 #17833

  • Nishmas
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Hi everyone, I’m also new to this forum, and I hope I’m not in the wrong place. Sorry for intruding on this thread if I am, but the title fit well. I’m always in need of chizuk, so I figure I need to get out of my comfort zone and try to ask for it. It’s not so easy. But I find this site to be great and uplifting.

I recently came across something from a long time ago which gave me chizuk, so I thought I’d share it here:

“If G-d had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He listens. He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose…… your heart. Face it, Friend, He is crazy about you!”

“G-d didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”

Nishmas
Last Edit: by Saveingtheklal.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 14 Sep 2009 19:24 #17836

  • bardichev
“If G-d had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it. If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it. He sends you flowers every spring. He sends you a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He listens. He can live anywhere in the universe, but He chose…… your heart. Face it, Friend, He is crazy about you!”

“G-d didn’t promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.”


GEVALDIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

AND SO ARE YOU!!!!
b
Last Edit: by Fed.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 14 Sep 2009 19:40 #17839

  • Noorah BAmram
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Beautiful Nishmas,
Welcome aboard! its always difficult to ask for chizuk but that is part of the being human that we all need constant encouragement.......and there is nothing wrong with being human
U r probably better off starting your own thread. I think that the custom/minhag here is that everybody starts their own thread.
Much love and tremendous respect for your courage to come forth
Noorah
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by AvodasNisyonos.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 14 Sep 2009 19:50 #17842

  • Nishmas
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Thanks both Bardichev and Norrah for the chizuk. And thanks Noorah for the tip. I didn't mean to encroach on tryinghard84 - i apologize. By the way, tryinghard84, I see Reb Guard provided information on the Handbooks and Chizuk lists. The're all great. I find the Chizuk email lists a good daily dose of medicine. And I always try to remind myself never to get overwhelmed, because it can be overwhelming. But just take one step at a time.

Nishmas
Last Edit: by anshino.

Re: New to This Site, But Definitely in Need of Help 14 Sep 2009 20:00 #17843

  • Noorah BAmram
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Holy Nishmas,
You r not "encroaching" on anyone. All I meant is that you will get more chizuk and support if you start your own thread.

Perhaps you care to share with us why you chose this beautiful name "Nishmas"

Noorah
[b]כי שבע יפול צדיק וקם[/b] 
A Tzadik is he who continues to  bounce back after he hits bottom, even a hundred times !!!!!Rav Don Segal Shlita
Last Edit: by Polin.
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