Dear Chevra,

As you know, I have urged members of the GYE family to write anonymous letters to influential Rabbonim (using my letters as a template), in order to educate them of the serious problem of addiction to Internet pornography, and some possible solutions, including the GYE website.

I'd now like to up the ante and suggest that sending out such letters, as part of doing Teshuva for these Aveiros, besides being a tremendous Zikui HaRabbim, is also a form of Teshuva Mei'Ahavah, for which all these Aveiros will be transformed to Zechuyos.  How so?  Well, how does Teshuva Mei'Ahavah transform Aveiros into Zechuyos?  Is it magic?  Of course not.  If a person's past Aveiros motivate him to come close to Hashem through Teshuva Mei'Ahavah, then his Aveiros were the impetus for his reaching this new Madreiga.  Therefore, it is only right that the person should be rewarded for the Aveiros too.  After all, without them, he never would have reached this new Madreiga.

It's the same with sending out letters as a form of Zikui HaRabbim.  If my past Aveiros are precisely what motivates me to help others, then it would seem that those Aveiros should become Zechuyos.

I understand.  I really do. 

No one is responding to this post, lest that be a Mechayav for them to send out a letter. 

But, what would be so bad?  Suppose you send the letter to a Rav, and he shares it with his Kehila, and even one person is helped?  Is there something better you could have done with your time?

Of course, this is not limited to writing letters.  Any way we help others in this area is a way of turning our past aveiros into zechuyos.  It's just that letter writing (and the like) has the potential to help others on a much larger scale.

Kedusha, people need incentives!!

How about this?

Send out one letter, every day, for 90 days. For each letter you send, Kedusha will find a sponsor to donate x amount to GYE for the first 45 letters, and for the last 45 letters it will be doubled.

Anyone want to join this Amazing Super Duper Incentive, Match, Double, 90, Letter Sending, Teshuvah Me'ahava scheme?

(We'll call it ASDIMD9LSTM for short)


I'm just making fun of everyone here... for their quiet  

guardureyes wrote on 16 Dec 2009 17:21:


Really?  I thought your entire post was serious - to the letter! 

OK I'm in. Great idea actually. I never thought of the impact that a simple letter of one's struggle could have on a Rav.
Only saw the post now - while checking out previous pages, no reason to get all sensitive. Once your post ends up on the 'page 2 zone' it's unlikely to get replies, since it's already off the '1st page billboard'.
Besides, with a title like "Writing Letters and Teshuva Mei'Ahavah", you really give the wrong impression of what the post is about. I'll bet most who saw it, thought it was your letter of teshuvah me'ahavah to H-shem or something.

I agree. It is teshuva me'ahava. I sent emails to chardei newspapers before Rosh Hashana asking them to print them but nothing happened. We still have alot of denial in our circles. I will BN work on sending letters to Rabbis.

Kedusha, maybe post a link to your previous letters for people to use as reference...

guardureyes wrote on 20 Dec 2009 13:01:


Even better, I'll post my best letter right here (all my letters are similar, but I think this one says it best):

Dear Rav *******, Shlita,

As you are certainly aware, addiction to Internet pornography is a very serious problem in the Orthodox world today.  It affects all spectrums of Orthodoxy, from Modern Orthodox to Chassidish.  It is unknown how many Orthodox Jews (men especially) feel that they are leading double lives, and are crying out for help, with nowhere to turn.  Imagine the pain of a father attending his child’s Siddur party or Chumash Siyum.  It should be a moment of great Nachas.  Instead, the father is ridden with guilt because of where he was on the Internet the previous night.  And the night before.

I was in this unfortunate position until recently.  Then, two things happened that have changed my life immeasurably.  First, Rav ********* urged all of his congregants at last year's Shabbos Shuva Drasha to install an Internet filter, and to entrust the password to someone else.  He went a step further, providing every member with information on how to obtain a free Internet filter for home use ("K9" - see below), and how to set it up.  I had reached the point where pornography had caused me untold pain and frustration, and I was more than ready to listen.  I installed the filter, and had my wife choose the password (in case the password is lost, it will be sent to my wife’s e-mail account, to which I have no access).  While not a total solution, having an Internet filter has been extremely helpful.

Second, I discovered a remarkable website that has numerous resources to give Chizuk to those struggling in this area - www.guardyoureyes.org.  This site is a life preserver for those who are drowning in a sea of Tumah (I know this from personal experience – it has kept me clean, and gives me the opportunity to both receive encouragement and to encourage others).

Please urge your members to protect, not only their children, but themselves, by installing K9 (www1.k9webprotection.com/) or another Internet filter, and by entrusting someone else to choose the password.  Please also inform your members of the Guard Your Eyes website, and encourage them to make use of it.

The main concern, of course, is whether people will listen.  "Kesheim Shemitzvah Lomar Davar Hanishma, Kach Mitzvah Shelo Lomar Davar She'eino Nishma."  I believe, however, based on my personal experience, that there are at least two groups of people that will take your words seriously.  First, those who have hit (or are rapidly approaching) "rock bottom," whose college grades, marriages, livelihoods and, indeed, entire lives are becoming unmanageable.  Second, those who are doing better than the first group, but have the foresight to recognize that they are on a very slippery slope, which is likely to cause them a great deal of trouble in the foreseeable future.  Such people may be inspired to take action, even though they have not yet hit "rock bottom."  This is what the Guard Your Eyes website calls "hitting bottom while still on top."

Please consider sharing my message with your Kehilah.  If you do so, who knows how many people (and their families) will be helped in a major way?

Thank you very much.  Kesiva v'Chasima Tova.

Sincerely,

************