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A platform of recovery for Jews who find themselves struggling with addictions to pornography, masturbation or other sexual problems. Post anonymously about your struggles without fear of anyone finding out who you are. Ask questions, post answers and be inspired! Get tips and guidance from the experts who moderate this forum, as well as from fellow strugglers.
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TOPIC: Getting started 2517 Views

Re: Getting started 05 Oct 2009 04:09 #21886

  • kedusha
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Chazak wrote on 05 Oct 2009 03:45:

Kedusha wrote on 07 Sep 2009 14:55:

Dear Blessed,

As others have said, you need to have your wife choose the password.  Furthermore, the e-mail address given to K9 (where the password will be sent should it be lost) must be one that you have no access to - preferably your wife's.

As to why you need this protection, there are several reasons you can give.  First, as noted by others, countless Rabbanim have said that there is an Issur Yichud for men to be alone with an unfiltered computer.  These Rabbanim aren't only speaking to us - they wouldn't trust themselves either (otherwise, the comparison to an Issur Yichud would be imprecise).  So, you can tell your wife that you're not better than Rav Matisyahu Solomon (e.g.).  Second, you want to set a good example for the children.

Hatzlacha!


Dear Kedusha,

I am not aware of countless rabbonim who hold that there is an actual issur of yichud. (However, that does not diminish the problem.) If you are, please let me know who they may be. Thanks.


I believe that Rav Matisyahu Solomon, among other Rabbanim, made that statement.  In any event, the point, I believe, is not whether there is an actual Issur Yichud, but whether there is any question whether Chazal would have made an Issur Yichud had the Internet existed in their time.  I believe that there is no question that they would have made an Issur Yichud, because, in most cases, it is far easier for a man to sin when given access to unfiltered Internet than it is for him to sin when he is alone with a woman (because, in the latter case, he needs the woman's cooperation, which might not be forthcoming).
Just as an alcoholic needs to avoid that first sip, a lust addict needs to avoid that first slip.Slip today? No way! ;)Fall today? No way, Jose'!
Last Edit: 06 Oct 2009 03:37 by Tehimi.

Re: Getting started 05 Oct 2009 17:37 #21945

  • Holy Yid
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Rabbi Waschman gave a very powerful speech before Yom Kippur about protecting ourselves from technology. You can come home and say you heard a HORRIBLE story about the web and want to protect yourself from it. Or if you think your rav is understanding in these matters, ask him about having the password and hopefully he will say you should not.
זכרני נא, זכרני נא, וחזקני נא אך הפעם הזה, הפעם הזה, האלקים, ואנקמה נקם אחת משתי עיני, מפלשתים
Last Edit: 06 Oct 2009 03:38 by Tehimi.

Re: Getting started 13 Nov 2009 14:34 #28178

  • Avreich
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[

[/quote]

Dear Kedusha,

I am not aware of countless rabbonim who hold that there is an actual issur of yichud. (However, that does not diminish the problem.) If you are, please let me know who they may be. Thanks.
[/quote]

I believe that Rav Matisyahu Solomon, among other Rabbanim, made that statement.  In any event, the point, I believe, is not whether there is an actual Issur Yichud, but whether there is any question whether Chazal would have made an Issur Yichud had the Internet existed in their time.  I believe that there is no question that they would have made an Issur Yichud, because, in most cases, it is far easier for a man to sin when given access to unfiltered Internet than it is for him to sin when he is alone with a woman (because, in the latter case, he needs the woman's cooperation, which might not be forthcoming).
[/quote]

Good. i agree - mostly. But it is ossur to make issurim that do not exist. Pics are not the same as a ishoh mamesh. However, this question is mostly academic otherwise. There are obviously many other reasons not to go online in a way which would be (that is "would be") yichud.
Last Edit: by BadadYishkon.
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