Dear Rav ******, Shlita,

As you are well aware, the Internet presents Nisyonos to our generation the likes of which we never faced before.  Having faced this Nisayon myself, I am certain that there are many Frum people who are suffering, as I was.  The question is how could I reach out to them?

I began by writing a letter to Rav *******, with copies sent to three other Rabbonim.  Rav ******** printed my letter in [his Shul] Bulletin, and Rav ******* sent the letter to his Shul e-mail list.  I am very much hoping that Rav ******** will agree to share the letter with the entire Vaad HaRabbonim e-mail list, to share with their membership.

I wrote a second letter to Rav *******, which makes the same point in different words.

Both letters can be found below (the letter to Rav ******* has been edited to incorporate some changes that Rav ******* suggested, and to make some minor improvements).  The underlying theme of these two letters (it's more explicit in the [second] letter) is that there are many people today who have suffered enough because of the Internet, and are ready to make changes if given the appropriate tools and encouragement. 

As we prepare for the Yomim Noraim, I sincerely hope that you will share the message with your listening audience.  It would be an incredible Zikui HaRabbim.

Thank you very much.


First Letter:

Dear Rav *******, Shlita [copies also being sent to Rav *******, Rav ********, and Rav ********],

As the Rav is surely aware, addiction to the Internet, especially (but not limited to) Internet pornography, is a very serious problem in the Frum world today.  It affects the full spectrum of Achainu B'nai Yisroel, regardless of background or synagogue affiliation.  It is unknown how many Frum people are leading double lives and crying out for help, with nowhere to turn.  Imagine the pain of a Frum, Heimishe father, attending his child’s Siddur party or Chumash Siyum.  It should be a moment of great Nachas.  Instead, the father is ridden with guilt because of where he was on the Internet the previous night.  And the night before. 

For some people, the answer is to have no Internet in the home (however, as the Internet becomes more and more essential, it is becoming increasingly difficult to suggest this as a long-term solution for Klal Yisrael).  For those who need it, however, there must be another solution.  My solution, in part, has been to install an Internet filter to which only my wife knows the password (furthermore, in case the password is lost, it will be sent to my wife’s e-mail account, to which I have no access).  While not a total solution, having an Internet filter has been very helpful.  My thanks goes to Rav ********, whose Shabbos Shuva Drasha I attended last year.  At his Drasha, Rav ******** strongly urged every member of his Shul, if they must have Internet access in the home, to install an Internet filter.  He went a step further, providing every member with information on how to obtain a free Internet filter ("K9" - see www1.k9webprotection.com/ ), and how to set it up.  Another Rav went still further, prohibiting his members from having Internet access without a filter.

As president of the Vaad HaRabbonim of *********, I strongly urge you to share my message with all of [our city's] Rabbonim.  If every Rav in [our city] strongly encourages the members of his Shul to install an Internet filter, and gives them guidelines how to set it up, who knows how many members of our community will be helped in a major way?

However, Internet filters do not completely solve the problem.  Therefore, it is important for all Rabbonim and their Mispallelim to be aware of an essential resource for those trying to break away from pornography: the website www.guardyoureyes.org  [1].  This site is a life preserver for those who are drowning in a sea of Tumah (I know this from personal experience – it has kept me clean, and gives me the opportunity to encourage others).  In conjunction with Rabbonim urging their Mispallelim to install filters, I urge them to mention the Guard Your Eyes website, which can literally save entire families from the destruction that Internet pornography often leaves in its wake.[2]

Rav ******, please share my message with all the Rabbonim in [our city] as soon as possible, and urge them to share the message with their Mispallelim, especially in these days of preparation for the Yamim Noraim.

In this Zechus, may the Ribbono Shel Olam grant our Kehila and Klal Yisrael Bracha v’Hatzlacha in all areas, and a Kesiva v’Chasima Tova.

Respectfully,

*******

[1]  The previous web address for this site was www.guardureyes.com.  Although that website is still functional, it contains much less content than does www.guardyoureyes.org.

[2]  Please also consider posting the linked flyer in your Shul, if it is not already posted.  www.guardureyes.com/GUE/Images/AD15X10.jpg



Second Letter:

Dear Rav *******, Shlita,

As you are certainly aware, addiction to Internet pornography is a very serious problem in the Orthodox world today.  It affects all spectrums of Orthodoxy, from Modern Orthodox to Chassidish.  It is unknown how many Orthodox Jews (men especially) feel that they are leading double lives, and are crying out for help, with nowhere to turn.  Imagine the pain of a father attending his child’s Siddur party or Chumash Siyum.  It should be a moment of great Nachas.  Instead, the father is ridden with guilt because of where he was on the Internet the previous night.  And the night before.

I was in this unfortunate position until recently.  Then, two things happened that have changed my life immeasurably.  First, Rav ********* urged all of his congregants at last year's Shabbos Shuva Drasha to install an Internet filter, and to entrust the password to someone else.  He went a step further, providing every member with information on how to obtain a free Internet filter for home use ("K9" - see below), and how to set it up.  I had reached the point where pornography had caused me untold pain and frustration, and I was more than ready to listen.  I installed the filter, and had my wife choose the password (in case the password is lost, it will be sent to my wife’s e-mail account, to which I have no access).  While not a total solution, having an Internet filter has been extremely helpful.

Second, I discovered a remarkable website that has numerous resources to give Chizuk to those struggling in this area - www.guardyoureyes.org.  This site is a life preserver for those who are drowning in a sea of Tumah (I know this from personal experience – it has kept me clean, and gives me the opportunity to both receive encouragement and to encourage others).

Please urge your members to protect, not only their children, but themselves, by installing K9 (www1.k9webprotection.com/) or another Internet filter, and by entrusting someone else to choose the password.  Please also inform your members of the Guard Your Eyes website, and encourage them to make use of it.

The main concern, of course, is whether people will listen.  "Kesheim Shemitzvah Lomar Davar Hanishma, Kach Mitzvah Shelo Lomar Davar She'eino Nishma."  I submit, however, based on my personal experience, that there are at least two groups of people that will take your words seriously.  First, those who have hit (or are rapidly approaching) "rock bottom," whose college grades, marriages, livelihoods and, indeed, entire lives are becoming unmanageable.  Second, those who are doing better than the first group, but have the foresight to recognize that they are on a very slippery slope, which is likely to cause them a great deal of trouble in the foreseeable future.  Such people may be inspired to take action, even though they have not yet hit "rock bottom."  This is what the Guard Your Eyes website calls "hitting bottom while still on top."

Please consider sharing my message with your Kehilah.  If you do so, who knows how many people (and their families) will be helped in a major way?

Thank you very much.  Kesiva v'Chasima Tova.

Sincerely,

************

Is anyone else willing to send out one or more anonymous letters to Rabbanim with a lot of influence?  I've done most of the work for you - you have two model letters to work with.  The potential Zikui HaRabbim is staggering!

kedusha you're incredible.

habib613 wrote on 02 Sep 2009 22:51:


To paraphrase one of the Baalei Mussar: If my efforts help only one person, even if I'm that person, they will have been well worth it!

I do hope, however, that many people will be helped.

Kedusha wrote on 02 Sep 2009 22:30:


Don't all respond at once!  :D ;D

Speaking of not responding, I have not had time to read most of the new posts, so I apologize for not contributing in that way.  I hope everyone is doing well.

Back to writing a letter: some of you may want to first wait until you have 90 days, which I did, in the spirit of "fix yourself first, then help fix others."  However, time is short before the Yomim Noraim.  Under these circumstances, I submit that several weeks of sobriety, combined with a strong determination to succeed, is enough.  Indeed, helping the Tzibbur by writing a letter may well give you enough of a boost to succeed.

When a fire is burning, drag everyone you can with you while you escape!! Don't wait until you're safe!

Kedusha,
Just so you know you are not alone, I (try to) spread the message where ever I can.
I've been planning a mailing too, and bli neder will use your post as stimuli to make it happen.
Kudos!
kutan

kutan shel hachabura wrote on 03 Sep 2009 12:51:


Yasher Koach - much Hatzlacha!

Dear Chevra,

I am delighted to share two pieces of very good news!

The Rav of the second Shul just informed me by e-mail that his letter (the second version) is being sent out to his membership list (hundreds of members).

But, it gets even better.


Drumroll . . .


The President of the Vaad HaRabbonim of my city has approved for both letters to be sent to the entire Vaad HaRabbonim list - approximately two dozen Rabbonim!

I am humbled to have a part in this incredible Zikui HaRabbim.  Perhaps this is the beginning of a new era in both Shmiras Einayim and in GYE (which are, in fact, one and the same!).

*clapping*

woohoo! that's HUGE! kol hakavod!!!!!!!

Reb Guard,

You better get some more chairs & benches (Powerful Server) because this place is going to get crowded now that we got Kedusha doing Sales & PR.

I am starting a new topic, because I feel that this amazing turn of events deserves its own topic and headline.  

The title will be "Fantastic News!"

Please post all further replies to that topic.

Habib613 and Efshar Letaken - thank you very much for your replies.  I have copied them to the new topic.