I just sent out this e-mail to a Rav with a Modern Orthodox congregation.  I also sent a slightly modified version to the Executive Vice President of a major organization.

Dear Rabbi *******, Shlita,

As you are certainly aware, addiction to Internet pornography is a very serious problem in the Orthodox world today.  It affects all spectrums of Orthodoxy, from Modern Orthodox to Chassidish.  It is unknown how many Orthodox Jews (men especially) feel that they are leading double lives, and are crying out for help, with nowhere to turn.  Imagine the pain of a father attending his child’s Siddur party or Chumash Siyum.  It should be a moment of great Nachas.  Instead, the father is ridden with guilt because of where he was on the Internet the previous night.  And the night before.

I was in this unfortunate position until recently.  Then, two things happened that have changed my life immeasurably.  First, my Rav urged all of his congregants at last year's Shabbos Shuva Drasha to install an Internet filter, and to entrust the password to someone else.  He went a step further, providing every member with information on how to obtain a free Internet filter for home use ("K9" - see below), and how to set it up.  I had reached the point where pornography had caused me untold pain and frustration, and I was more than ready to listen.  I installed the filter, and had my wife choose the password (in case the password is lost, it will be sent to my wife’s e-mail account, to which I have no access).  While not a total solution, having an Internet filter has been extremely helpful.

Second, I discovered a remarkable website that has numerous resources to give Chizuk to those struggling in this area - www.guardyoureyes.org.  This site is a life preserver for those who are drowning in a sea of Tumah (I know this from personal experience – it has kept me clean, and gives me the opportunity to both receive encouragement and to encourage others).

Please urge your members to protect, not only their children, but themselves, by installing K9 (www1.k9webprotection.com/) or another Internet filter, and by entrusting someone else to choose the password.  Please also inform your members of the Guard Your Eyes website, and encourage them to make use of it.

The main concern, of course, is whether people will listen.  "Kesheim Shemitzvah Lomar Davar Hanishma, Kach Mitzvah Shelo Lomar Davar She'eino Nishma."  I submit, however, based on my personal experience, that there are two groups of people that will take your words seriously.  First, those who have hit (or are rapidly approaching) "rock bottom," whose college grades, marriages, livelihoods and, indeed, entire lives are becoming unmanageable.  Second, those who are doing better than the first group, but have the foresight to recognize that they are on a very slippery slope, which is likely to cause them a great deal of trouble in the foreseeable future.  Such people may be inspired to take action, even though they have not yet hit "rock bottom."  This is what the Guard Your Eyes website calls "hitting bottom while still on top."

Please consider sharing my message with your members.  If you do so, who knows how many people (and their families) will be helped in a major way?

Thank you very much.  Kesiva v'Chasima Tova.

Sincerely,

*******

P.S. Please excuse me for using a pseudonym, but I trust you will understand my need for doing so.

kedusha

great job on these letters you wrote to promote awareness on these extremely important matters.

what I find curious is we are regular guys,simple citizens,basic members of society,we never proclaimed ourselves to be leaders or mentors or educators and therefore it is our right to remain nameless.In my case,I have a right not to use my real name because I never professed to be a rabbi or leader,just a simple Yid who feels the obligation to say certain things,on a take it or leave it basis, and I admit that on some level I am a coward.

but those who are prominent in our society,those who are the ones that took the responsibility on themselves to lead a kehilah,have no right to be nameless, or sneak behind the scenes.I'm no leader so that exempts me.I'm supposed to be listening to you,not the other way around.you decided to be a leader, so own up to it.and I find it fascinating how even now many of you are afraid to address these issues.Why don't I hear more on record,in speeches,in writing,about the benefits of sites such as this.A Yid Rabbi Viner is an exception.He has adressed this issue openly.perhaps many have and I'm judging too quickly.and those who are adressing these issues I thank them,and I appreciate it.

But for those leaders that are still hiding under the covers,you better come out and start doing what you are suppose to or switch your profession.you can hide for a while but sooner or later it's going to get you.These problems will hit close family members.and by then it will be too late.your nice cozy blanket cover will have been removed.and what are you going to do then?  

R' Yechida.
I feel the pain in your letter, and share it. The city is burning, and those who should be extinguishing the fires are standing idle.

Baruch Hashem, a lot is being done. But there is always the feeling that what is being done does not match the peril.

But please, al todin es chavercha ad shetagia limekomo. There are many factors that we cannot appreciate because we are not in those shoes.  I can enumerate some of them, but will not, since the point is to judge favorably, which means giving the benefit of the doubt.

Stay positive. Keep working to spread the message. And keep davening (Pintele, I stuck that in l'kuvud you).

kutan

kutan

I am happy that you responded and I take your point very seriously.

and on any specific indivdual that I come across I will always strive to be dan l'chaf zchus.even if it's a rav who is not adressing these important issues.

but I will not retract what I wrote

not even one word of it.

It has to be said

shrug.

I know that shrug from someplace

shrug is some kind of mussar

kutan(shebechabura) does the shrug.

ari (shebechabura) roars

the integrated true self(and the greatest shebechabura),who has both true good qualities in him,and he does,speaks clearly

;D

I love you kuton,ari-the both of you