I am in my fifties, frum for more than thirty years, and I still feel completely hopeless as far as these inyonim go. I don't even have any real desire to act out anymore, but I seem almost hypnotized sometimes - I just find myself sliding into it. Is there any way to break free? PLEASE HELP!

Hi there chaver!

I can relate cuz I'm "about" your age. I have also wondered for decades - is there any way to break free? After discovering GYE I came to the realization that perhaps I'm an addict, and perhaps I may be one forever. But as the GYE handbook explains, just as a diabetic who is terminally ill can live a good life by using the proper medication, so too, a lifetime addict can live a good life by using the proper 'medication'. That includes, first and foremost, vigilant shmiras einayim and shmiras machshovo, and avoiding any triggereing situations. Daven to Hashem, for ultimately He controls your destination, and is willing to help and waiting for your call. Take it a day at a time - but give that day all you got.

Experience shows that just as lust is habit forming, working at sobriety is also habit forming. You may not become perfect, but you stand a good chance to become a much better and much happier person by forging ahead as best as you can.

Hatzlacha

MT

Thanks, that's real chizzuk! Tizkeh l'mitzvos!
UTN

Welcome!

MT has done a great job of summarizing the way out.

I would just add that it's important to develop your radar and realize when you first start slipping. Generally a slide starts slowly, after being fed with enough gazes and inappropriate thoughts. The earlier you can detect yourself starting to lust -- and intercept it there -- the easier it is to break free.

Some people are triggered by particular circumstances or emotions, such as boredom, resentment, stress. The better we know our triggers, the better we can avoid falling.

After (and while) getting sober, there's also an "asey tov" aspect, called recovery. Take a look through the 12-steps to see the areas we need to work on to fully recover. You can find them linked on the GYE homepage.

Welcome to your new life!

Alex