Too often after I fall I tell myself I will be careful next time and take the proper precautions, and remind myself what chazal tells us when one is about to sin. However, I always find myself in a position where I am too steeped in the sin that I can't get myself out of it until it is too late. I have a filter on my computer which I do not have the password to it, however, I always find ways around it as my yetzer hara is riding on my back pushing me to go further and further and find other cites which are not covered by my filter. What do you suggest to do, when things are "great" and I don't have any tayva to sin, so that I don't get into situations where I will even be tempted to sin

Treat each day as if it's your first day and your only day - give it all you got!
Daven to Hashem daily that He help you stay sober.
Vigilantly avoid all forms of lust (especially your eyes and your mind) - it's that first innocent sip/slip that will eventually get you down the slippery slope.
Have an accountability partner with whom you can talk daily about your issues.

Hatzlacha

MT

Vigilance is nice, praying hard is nice...but what MT said about getting a real, live partner - no, two or three partners - is precious! To speak with on the phone and in person - I meet with people who are my friends only because of my sobriety and wanting to be free of porn and sexual trouble. They are my main buddies! We talk a bit every day about how life is going and make it about more than just the schmutz.

I have been clean be"H for over 15 years one good day at a time and the single most powerful tool I use is that I know and admit that I can't make it alone and do not have to. And I speak to other real people in person and on the phone on a daily basis, who know that fact about me, and it is the plain emmess for them, too, and we both know it. And it's OK.

Shame out, honesty in - and there is a lot more to life than 'fighting the yetzer hora'. May Hashem please continue to save me from becomeing one of those who are "fighting, fighting fighting" - for they are really just seeing how long they can hold their breath for! They will eventually NEED to fall again. After all, how many days can one hold his breath? G-d knows this, of course.

Together, we breathe. Alone, we suffocate.

simplejew613 wrote on 07 Sep 2012 14:14:


Stop worrying about when you are going to get tempted next. Be fully engaged in whatever activities you are involved in. If you can't be, then change them so that they are engaging. Don't force yourself to live in a way that doesn't give you satisfaction because you learned that it's supposed to. If it doesn't feel good, you need to make some changes.

Read Feeling Good by David Burns for a systematic approach.

What Dov said.

Seriously - when I felt that I was doing OK, and stopped checking in here and with friends offline about my issues, I was OK for a while - and I eventually ran into trouble. Connections help.

Other than that, I'd also recommend making plans, and I find it helps to picture myself in the situation and visualize myself walking away.

Yeah, and there is another big reason connections help so much - even more than reading a great (the very best) self-help book or the best sefer in the universe can:

"The Captain Kirk Phenomenon", and it is pervasive, like the Blob. (But a good kind of blob... )

Think it over, if you wish:

http://www.guardyoureyes.org/forum/index.php?topic=4109.msg111973#msg111973

It's not everything, but it is a start.