Just wanted to know if anyone out there experiences the same issue as me and any ideas?

B"H I feel that I am finally working the steps correctly. I just had 3 months clean for the first time since joining SA 2 years ago. Although I have broken my sobreity...I was not suprised. I know what I did wrong and will learn from my mistakes.

My problem is starting up again and this happens everytime. It takes me so long to start up again because I tell myself "what the heck now that you fell why don't you enjoy yourself for a while". I'll start for 2 days then fall and so on. Not until I fall "big time" then I will feel the pain and unmanageability and be able to start again.

Anyone have these issues? Any ideas?

Shalom alecha, dear gutezach.

i am experiencing MAMASH!!! the same conversations with the yetzer (with who else.). Since you fell already, so AT LEAST do it like a MAN - fall properly. so i know very good what you mean.

i would recomend to go through the hizzuk mails here : www.guardureyes.com/GUE/GUEList/GUEList1.asp />AND
try the taphsic methode. if you use it wisely it helps a lot. hatzlocho


keep in touch
R"T

This voice is the same one that brought you to your fall in the first place. So, how do you get yourself to a place that you really want to be connected to Hashem, no-nonsense? How do you lift yourself up from your present frame of mind to a higher state?

Do you know?

I'd love to hear from you. And may Hashem grant you the strength (&humility)

Birah

I hear that ONE HUNDRED PERCENT!

When that voice comes to me IO take a moment and remember in my mind in very great detail exactly how I felt the last couple times I listened. Try it, it might take the edge off. Make the Yetzer less appealing.

So for myself its normally, one big glob of GROSS and ugh I cant believe I did it again IM SO STUPID *self-pity* *some more self-pity* disgusting, ashamed, hypocrite, cant look at my rebbeim, someone calls me tzadik and I respond "I am definitely NOT a tzadik" and then they think Im humble lol then I feel like a bigger hypocrite. I dunno does that sound appealing to you?