Well I slipped up. I let my daily journal/prayer go for a few days and was thus weakened in my resolve. Then I got on the pity pot over sharp words from my wife and acted out. I MUST deal with this issue every day and for the rest of my life. I am not strong enough go without daily prayer/journaling and help from G-d. So I acted out with impunity for a week ending this morning when (temporarily) I felt sated and guilty so I came to my senses and said "enough" and am now trying for abstinence. G-d please help me to remain abstinent for the remainder of THIS DAY! Tomorrow will take care of itself if I take the appropriate steps. I hope this also helps someone else. Thank you to all to struggle yet continue to strive for a better way.

g4m

P.S. I am not Jewish. I get chizuk from all of you. I know I need to be here.

BH

Hi Grace 4 me,

Your post sounds very touching & real. i think it is both fascinating & admirable that some non-jews care about purity as well. Today's western world seems so lusting, that it is a chizuk for us (for me , at least) to know that even "out there" people are struggling against the tide of dirt....
Way to go!
p.s. I am sorry to prod, but are you a Noahide?

hatzlocho & grace 4 you