yesterday had a bad dream (spiritually speaking) while i was completley asleep. but NO z'l , baruch Hashem!
does that count?!?!? :- ??? ???

count as what?

if you meant as a clean day, so bevaday she'ken. even if it would end with some of it coming out, since you didnt do it bemezid, it can not be counted as a fall.
hatzlocho : )

Whatever happens in your sleep doesn't count; it's not in your control.

yahoooooWWW, day 12 . still clean.

KEEP IT UP BABY!!!

You guys are champions, plowing ahead like this!
Why don't you all with similar lengths of sobriety (2 weeks or so; I think there is a bunch of guys here like that) agree to be accountable to each other and maybe even pay a small knas if one of you falls? This extra weight of being accountable to a group of friends may carry you over 30 days, and then beyond.
Just a thought.
Mottel

hmm, intresting idea. i accept it as a welcomed toychocho for not giving tzdoko in the lat time. thank you.

so well, okay lets make a chabbura.

who wants to join me?

here are the rules:
1.not more than 5 guys! i am not so rich.
2.for each day any of us 5 falls (chas vesholom) each 1 has to pay let say 1 dollar/euro to tzedoko (not from maaser) (each day not each time. as i said before, i am not so rich)
3.well. rules number 3 - you dont want to make me (or any other) bankrott.


so common guys. who wants to join?
dovek? keepgoingdude? :D kevin? 4 more places.

Hi RT & eye.nonymous,

thanks for your good words re the sleepy dreams/ fantasies.
although reasuring, i am not sure it is so poshut.
as the g'mara says- you have to be carefull during the day so that nothing should happen at night. if you have a fantasy dream, it is because you had a hirhur during the day.
true- it IS a clean day; not an "official" fall. but still, it's not ideal...
i am being a bit hard on myslef, as i am trying to raise the bar of expectations from myslef.
if i won't go up I will chalila go down.
i am NOT applying this to others- being a "mussar- gebber" was never my profession. But i feel i have to share this idea with my friends here.

Kevin Im sorry I simply CAN NOT agree to that,

Youve trained your mind to think a certain way for how long now? GO easy on yourself, and be responsible for the things that you should be responsible for not your dreams

They will go away in time. maybe your taking it as an indication that you are thinking about it in the day and thats whats bothering you???

KEVIN! How you doing in the count??

@RT Sorry buddy im not that rich.... :o.. Lol Just kidding, B'h Ive been clean (its been bumpy but no z'l) for 200+ days ;D

@Kevin
well, dear Kevin, its not ideal, but dont you agree that its not the matzav to want that things will go ideally immediatly. as some people here say, just keep going, dude : )

@JkG(dude): well, i was there as well once. this year. and now i am by 13 days. its not a stira to join. !!
but surely, you have to make the decision.


AND BTW RABOISAY. IF WE DO IT (WHAT REB MOTTEL SUGGESTED) WE WILL NOT DO IT FOR LIFE. LETS START WITH 1 WEEK.)

yea, btw, 13 days. clean.

I was part of an accountability group during my first ninety days here, after which it kinda fell apart. But the journey with a couple fo buddies was fascinating and very helpful to me.
Hope you all can take advantage of this tool.
I would suggest another rule: a minimum of two posts a week from each member of the chabura, to stay current and accountable.
Mottel

kevin wrote on 24 Jul 2012 23:03:


Not ideal is when that pop-up ad jumps in your face and you can't resist so your eyes linger a few seconds too long. Even that would not be a cause to re-set your sobriety--but it is an indication that you've got more work to do.

To hold yourself accountable for what happens when you're unconscious is way too high to set the bar at this stage in the game.

There's a famous gemara about someone who has a wet dream on the night of Yom Kippur--it either means they're happy with him in shamayim, or it means he's going to die before the year is up. Without going into it too much, the meforshim there say it's referring to someone for whom it would be absolutely unlikely that he would have such a dream (like an elderly tzaddik). When it's so out of character, it's a sign from shamayim. Otherwise--it's nothing to be too concerned about.

That's just in case you like Torah sources for things, too. I thought I would throw that in.

--Elyah

2 weeks ! feels good.
feels like i just started. good feeling.
i dont feel tired from the abstinence (or however you write this word) yet.
hatzlocho chevra.




NU? nobody is joining?

i fell every day practically at least once for the last week.i wonder if ill manage to stop myself by thinking and connecting to g-d tonight

Why dont you agree to be a part of this accountability group, a, tocontrolmyself?
See if RT's paying for your fall is enough to stop you?