.Dov wrote:

a lot of things,
rebounds, you should never give up, always hang onto the puck. never give UP (united pork) for mishloach manos, and lastly never hang yourself from a lampost beacause you failed and did something dumb, remember tha HAshem loves you so don hurt anybody hashem loves

always give up your
lust to hashem. you can't
keep it to yourself

can I lust hashem?

mr. emunah wrote:


Sure! Say Shir Hashirim!

YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ize madly in Love with the onae above!

just wanted to say hi RT!!!!!!!!!!!
i see you had an awesome streak!
KOT
All the best!!1
what mistake caused you to fall?
do yo know on what you got loose?
it will be helpful

tocontrolmyself wrote:


Would it be, perhaps, more helpful to know what he was doing all that while that was keeping him from falling?

--Elyah

BH 30 days today!! I was just thinking of "giving in", All was in place.. my IPad in hand... But I just wanted to check my email for a sec, and - got a email from gye saying my daycount was "red." I updated it and saw "day 30" wow! I will not fall today! Gut moed!

sweet! IYH veiter!

I recall somebody wrote once (i think it was obermottel, zachur latov), that you have to read some recovery stuff in order NOT to fall.
each time i had a nice streak was because of one of 2 things:
-this very thing (reading recovery stuff on daily basis)
-kabolos and vows
nothing else really helped.

hatzlocho.

Elyah-my friend-its two sides of the same coin.Good Moed!!
All the best!
But that is the more positive side.Thanks for your reinder.
POSITIVITY!!!

tocontrolmyself wrote:


Actually, I have found that avoiding slips--negative sobriety--is a whole different world than taking positive actions to keep myself far away from danger in the first place--positive sobriety.

I can focus all day every day on NOT FALLING and then stay clean but miserable.

I can focus on the positive things I need to do, and nearly and naturally almost forget about all that acting out stuff, and enjoy myself and enjoy life while I'm at it.

For example:

What did I do to fall? I was browsing the internet aimlessly and ended up looking at p*rn. Okay, so I've learned I shouldn't do that. But what SHOULD I do, practically speaking, to avoid that? From that, I have NO IDEA! So, given the chance, I'm just going to end up browing the internet aimlessly again and eventually start looking at p*rn. And I can make an endless list of all the things I do which, eventually (or not so eventually) will lead to looking at p*rn or masturbating. I spent over 30 years looking at that list trying to avoid those things and, despite my efforts to stop, I kept on doing them.

But, if I ask the question: What did I do to keep myself sober? I called friends in recovery. I posted regularly on the forum. I read recovery literature. I kept a vigilent watch on my fears and resentments and made an inventory of them as soon as they came up and shared them with someone and realized where I was at fault and then I prayed for help in overcoming my character defects and acting rightly towards the people in my life, and I tried to be patient and helpful with my wife and children and tried to enjoy the moments with them, and while I was walking outside I took a deep breath of the cool fresh air to fill myself with one of those feelings of deep appreciation for just being alive.

Looking at that list and keeping those things in mind, has given me long stretches of sobriety. These things gives me a much better idea of something to work with to keep me sober. It is when I forgot these things, or did not do enough of them, that I fell yet again.

Does that make any sense?

Elyah

Yes it does.
!
day nummero uno (1)

day 4.

I am starting with this vows again. Let me share it here:

before I do anything:
-25 bugs to tzedoke
-tehilim perek 119 (that should take some time)
-to go outside and surround the building i was in before
-feel some heat (fire of a match or anythng else)
(and if i Dont do even one of this things, if its bemezid -> 250 bugs, if i forgot to do it ->75 bugs)

after I did it (chas veshulem):
-not to do it that very day again
-2 other things people usually not do... so insake of anonymity i won't share it.

hopefully it will help.

by the way. was it just me who felt strange saying in musaf: "mipne hataenu galinu meartzeynu...veeyn anachnu yecholim laalot...mipne hayad shenishtalcha bemikdashcha" .?

LOL