If you get to read this today, than all the better.

The main lesson that I learnt from this fast day (17 Tammuz) is that the walls of Jerusalem were breached; how does this apply to our lives? Simple. We need fences to protect our values and inner holiness, otherwise we're susceptible to breach and destruction.

I've been living without real barriers for quite sometime now, merely due to living in denial and not being totally honest with myself..about what my values and priorities are. unfortunately, I've had to learn the lessons that hard way.

Now, I've discovered a new practical and potentially life transforming way. Each day, spend a little time really thinking about a specific emotion, ideally one that has resulted in us lapsing however many times before. Make it clear, genuinely feel the emotion but also create something positive about it. Apply a sense of perspective, learn a lesson from it, make it yours.

I have recently become a great believer in the idea that most of us (for the majority of time) don't really experience an emotion, per sa. We touch it around the edges, but don't fully live in the moment and overcome fear. For me, I've not truely felt the absolute pain and unfortunate results that a sickness like porn issues. Hence, it's so difficult to accept, let go (& let G-d) and then make strides forward to transform our lives. Hence, many of us frequently struggle and relapse.

Just so you know, I'm 28 and single. There are many things 'going for me', if only I could just surrender my past, enjoy the moment and keep focusing on the good days ahead. maybe there's still a chance.